Mothering Without a Map: The Search for the Good Mother WithinEvery woman longs to be a good mother. But what about those women who grew up “undermothered”—whose own mothers were well-meaning but unavailable, absent, distracted, or depressed? How are they to become the good mothers they aspire to be? In this beautifully articulate book, Kathryn Black, whose own mother’s early death inspired her award-winning In the Shadow of Polio, offers affirming news: One doesn’t have to have had a good mother to become one. Probing for answers from experts in psychiatry and psychoanalysis, social work, biology, and other disciplines, Black reveals that there are other paths to discovering the good mother within. This moving and powerful book shows how “wounded daughters” can become “healing mothers” who give their own children a legacy of security, happiness, and love. On the web: http://www.motheringwithoutamap.com |
From inside the book
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Page 35
... asked , " Mommy , do you wait here for me ? " Ordinary devotion creates the secure base and teaches the child to take her mother's dependability for granted . Mother is pres- ent in a way that provides comfort and safety to the child ...
... asked , " Mommy , do you wait here for me ? " Ordinary devotion creates the secure base and teaches the child to take her mother's dependability for granted . Mother is pres- ent in a way that provides comfort and safety to the child ...
Page 65
... asked about her two young teenagers , smiling and laughing in a husky way that made me think she must have been a smoker . As we talked , I learned that her mother had run off with a lover and left Carolyn and her siblings to be reared ...
... asked about her two young teenagers , smiling and laughing in a husky way that made me think she must have been a smoker . As we talked , I learned that her mother had run off with a lover and left Carolyn and her siblings to be reared ...
Page 80
... asked the grandmothers whether they raised their daughters in a way simi- lar to or different from how they were raised . Eighty percent said differently . But their daughters had something else to say . Most of them , when asked what ...
... asked the grandmothers whether they raised their daughters in a way simi- lar to or different from how they were raised . Eighty percent said differently . But their daughters had something else to say . Most of them , when asked what ...
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Common terms and phrases
able adulthood adults Alice Miller allomother Anna Freud asked attachment theory baby baby's Balint Basic Books Becoming Attached behavior Bowlby caregiver Cathy chil child childhood culture D. W. Winnicott Daniel N Daniel Stern daugh daughter dren Emmy Werner emotional emotionally experiences father fear feel felt Fraiberg friends girl give grandmother growing Hannah Hannah Frank heard high school Hrdy human husband Ibid infant insecure James Anthony Jeanne John Bowlby Kauai kids knew learned lives look marriage Mary Pipher Maslow maternal Melinda Monica motherhood Motherline needs never nurturing Ornstein parents past person pregnant psychology Psychotherapy relationship remember resilient Robert Karen role Sarah Blaffer Hrdy says Secure Base securely attached self-actualization someone Stern story talk teenager tell therapist therapy There's Therese Benedek thing thought tion told under-mothered women Winnicott woman women I interviewed York young