Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy

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Ballantine Books, 2007 - Self-Help - 263 pages
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Why are so many women dissatisfied with their sex lives?

Something is missing from their intimate encounters: either they’re not interested in sex anymore, or they are interested but can’t get aroused, or they can get aroused but have neither the desire nor the energy to follow through. Their relationships are suffering. Many women find themselves wondering what’s wrong with them.

If you’re a woman and any of this sounds familiar, Dr. Anita H. Clayton wants you to know that there’s nothing wrong with youwhat’s wrong is the ridiculous fantasies you’ve been sold about sex, and the unrealistic expectations you cling to. We all want to make love the way they do in the movies, where the woman swoons with desire before the man even gets near her and, once he does, gasps, collapses, and hurtles headlong into orgasm in twenty seconds tops. Now, how often does that happen in real life? Not very–because in real life it takes at least that long to get your panty hose off, not to mention locking the door locked so the kids don’t barge in.

In this irreverent and revolutionary volume, Dr. Clayton lays bare hidden facets of female sexuality that are rooted in the psyche and can catapult a woman either into a cathartic bout of ecstasy or against the headboard into yet another disappointment. Through compelling case histories she explores why many women would rather put up with unsatisfying sex than tell their lovers how to please them; how buried feelings about childbearing can affect a woman’s erotic potential; and why an orgasm you have during intercourse is no more “real” or legitimate than one you achieve through other means. Dr. Clayton also shines a light on sexual attitudes that have a dramatic impact on young girls and teens, and details how motherhood and menopause may affect but need not diminish a woman’s capacity for sexual pleasure.

Dr. Clayton believes that women should have high expectations for their sex lives, but that these expectations should come from visceral, intimate knowledge of ourselves–what is normal for us and what feels good to us. She wants you to consider and eventually own the concept of yourself as every bit as sexual as a sex symbol. Indeed, the only person who should symbolize sex for you is you.

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Satisfaction: women, sex, and the quest for intimacy

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Clayton, a psychiatrist specializing in female sexuality, and writer/editor Cantor-Cooke offer women a manual for psychological self-diagnosis about how they influence and perpetuate their own sexual ... Read full review


Just a Few Words Before I Get Going
Our Uneasy Relationship with the Truth
The Egg and the I

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About the author (2007)

Anita H. Clayton, M.D., is the David C. Wilson Professor of Psychiatry in the Department of Psychiatric Medicine at the University of Virginia and holds a secondary faculty appointment as professor of clinical obstetrics and gynecology. She has chaired or served on twenty-five academic committees. Dr. Clayton is also a consulting editor for the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy and writes a bimonthly column for Primary Psychiatry. She has been featured in numerous publications, including The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Psychiatric Times, and Ladies Home Journal. She is a wife and mother and lives just outside of Charlottesville, Virginia.

Robin Cantor-Cooke has worked as a writer, editor, and producer on more than forty books and tape programs. She is an adjunct instructor at the College of William and Mary and lives with her husband and two sons in Williamsburg, Virginia.

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