How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life: 1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships. 2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are. 3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament. 4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways. 5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation. |
Contents
Introduction | 1 |
The Home We Leave | 7 |
Love and Less 52 | 52 |
Struggles Along the Way | 79 |
The First Phase of Relationship | 106 |
Conflicts | 126 |
Fears Rush Inand Dangers Too | 153 |
Letting Go of Ego | 174 |
Returning the Blessing | 215 |
Epilogue | 243 |
Other editions - View all
How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving David Richo Limited preview - 2021 |
How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving David Richo Limited preview - 2021 |
How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving David Richo No preview available - 2021 |
Common terms and phrases
abandonment abuse accept addiction adult relationship allow anger another’s appreciation archetypal attachment attention become behavior believe blame bodhisattva bond buddha childhood codependent commitment compassion conflict consciousness D. W. Winnicott deepest needs disappointment ego ideal egoless Emily Dickinson experience face fear fear and desire feel loved five A’s give and receive go of ego grace grief grieve happen happiness healing healthy ego heart Heinz Kohut hold human hurt inner child intimacy introvert issue Jesse keep let go lojong look means meditation ment mindfully mindfulness mindsets mirroring need fulfillment neediness neurotic ego never notice nurturance ourselves pain parents partner past path person phase psyche psychological reactions reality relating response retaliate romance scared seek Selene sense sexual shame someone spiritual practice stay therapy things tion trust twelve-step program uncon unconditional love vulnerability W. B. Yeats wishes