Celebrating Interfaith Marriages: Creating Your Jewish/Christian Ceremony

Devon A. Lerner

Macmillan, Apr 19, 1999 - Reference - 265 pages

The first comprehensive wedding guide specifically for the Jewish/Christian couple who wants to honor both religious traditions in their service, vows, and readings.

Saying "I do" is one of the happiest moments in a couple's life together--but planning that trip to the altar can be a stressful ordeal. The minute an engagement is announced two full clans want to celebrate the union their way! When one of those families is Jewish (50 percent of whom now marry outside their faith) and the other is Christian, the religious details can increase the pressure on the bride- and groom-to-be. Celebrating Interfaith Marriages provides all of the expert advice on how to combine elements of the two faiths so everyone can rejoice with the bride and groom on their wedding day.

Devon Lerner draws from her twenty years of officiating interfaith weddings as she discusses the significance of vows and traditions unique to both faiths and suggests how to incorporate them into a service that is balanced and beautiful. She provides Christian and Jewish services readers can mix and match, as well as custom-bled ceremonies contributed by couples who have worked with her over the years. There's a chapter on how to avoid crashes on issues like location, when the ceremony takes place, and whether the bride and groom should see each other before meeting at the altar. A full section of readings, both biblical and secular, are here too, as well as anecdotes that will reassure and amuse. No interfaith couple will want to be without this essential handbook when they plan their special day.

Contents

• On the Emotional Side: 5
• From Your Parents Perspective: 8
• Understanding the Jewish Response to Jesus: 9
• Focus on the Celebration of Your Love: 10
• Rabbis Priests Ministers and Other Officiants: 11
• Finding a Priest: 12
• Working with a Rabbi and a Priest or Minister: 13
• Other Officiants: 14
• Justice of the Peace Fees: 15
• Marriage Licenses: 17
• Outofstate Licenses: 18
• Interfaith Wedding Ceremonies: 19
• The Length of the Ceremony: 21
• The Huppah or Wedding Canopy: 22
• The Order and Content of the Ceremony: 23
• More Customs to Consider: 39
• Choosing Customs for Your Ceremony: 44
• When Jewish and Christian Traditions Conflict: 45
• The Date of the Wedding: 46
• The Processional: 47
• Where Does the Wedding Party Stand?: 50
• Processional Music: 51
• Do Guests Stand or Sit as the Bride Enters?: 52
• The Use of Hebrew: 53
• Blessing Before the Meal: 54
• Details That Make a Difference: 56
• Microphones: 57
• Placement of the Ritual Items: 58
• Outdoor Wedding Preparations: 59
• Videography: 60
• Honoring Parents: 61
• Checklist of Items to Bring to Your Wedding: 62
• From the First Draft to the Final Version: 63
• Edit Your First Draft: 64
• Enjoy Your Creation: 65
• Sample Ceremonies: 67
• Two Jewishstyle Ceremonies: 69
• The Wedding Ceremony of Linda Graetz and Jim Eng: 76
• Two Ceremonies Between a Catholic and a Jew: 84
• The Wedding Ceremony of Anita Seifert and Steve Georgon: 94
• Two Ceremonies Between a Protestant and a Jew: 102
• The Wedding Ceremony of JoAnn Pappalardo and Steven Cooperstein: 110
• Menu of Passages for Each Element of the Service: 119
• Opening Remarks and Blessings: 122
• Explanation of the Huppah: 126
• Acknowledging Different Traditions: 129
• Acknowledging Children from a Previous Marriage: 131
• Remembering Loved Ones Who Have Died: 133
• General Marriage Blessings and Prayers: 135
• Blessing over the Wine: 141
• Circling: 144
• Affirmation of the Families and of the Guests: 147
• Vows: 149
• Ring Exchanges: 155
• The Unity Candle: 159
• The Ketubah Signing and Reading: 163
• The Seven Jewish Wedding Blessings: 165
• Pronouncement: 176
• Closing Prayers and Readings: 179
• The Yichud: 184
• Breaking of the Glass: 185
• Wedding Readings: 189
• Torah or Hebrew Scripture Passages: 192
• New Testament Passages: 195
• Modern Poetry and Prose: 197
• Traditional Wedding Ceremonies: 209
• A Reform Jewish Wedding: 211
• A Roman Catholic Wedding: 218
• An Episcopal Wedding: 227
• A Presbyterian Wedding: 233
• Ketubot: 241
• Orthodox Ketubah: 243
• Interfaith Ketubot: 245
• Hebrew Prayers with Their Transliterations and Translations: 249
• Blessing over the Wine: 251
• Blessing over the Candle: 252
• The Seven Wedding Blessings: 254
• The Priestly Blessing: 257
• Notes: 259

About the author

Rabbi Devon A. Lerner (Arlington, MA) has served congregations in Atlanta, Richmond, and Boston. She received an M.S.W. from Boston University in 1986 and since that time has had a private practice specializing in interfaith wedding ceremonies.

Bibliographic information

• Title: Celebrating Interfaith Marriages: Creating Your Jewish/Christian Ceremony
• Author: Devon A. Lerner
• Edition: revised
• Publisher: Macmillan, 1999
• ISBN: 0805060839, 9780805060836
• Length: 265 pages
• Subjects: Reference / Weddings; Religion / Christian Living / Love & Marriage; Religion / Judaism / Rituals & Practice; Social Science / Sociology / Marriage & Family