Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Front Cover
Three Rivers Press, Dec 1, 2003 - Self-Help - 321 pages
28 Reviews
Out of nowhere, like a fresh breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice on what to believe, comes Byron Katie and what she calls “The Work.” In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed, and over a ten-year period sank further into rage, despair, and thoughts of suicide. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now in Loving What Is you can discover the same freedom through The Work.

The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.” Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point, we can truly love what is, just as it is.

Loving What Is will show you step-by-step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. You’ll see people do The Work with Katie on a broad range of human problems, from a wife ready to leave her husband because he wants more sex, to a Manhattan worker paralyzed by fear of terrorism, to a woman suffering over a death in her family. Many people have discovered The Work’s power to solve problems; in addition, they say that through The Work they experience a sense of lasting peace and find the clarity and energy to act, even in situations that had previously seemed impossible.

If you continue to do The Work, you may discover, as many people have, that the questioning flows into every aspect of your life, effortlessly undoing the stressful thoughts that keep you from experiencing peace. Loving What Is offers everything you need to learn and live this remarkable process, and to find happiness as what Katie calls “a lover of reality.”

From the Hardcover edition.

What people are saying - Write a review

User ratings

5 stars
4 stars
3 stars
2 stars
1 star

Review: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

User Review  - Britt - Goodreads

My first exposure to 'The Work' and Byron Katie was about 15 years ago. Back then, I probably would have given any of her books one, possible two stars. But the truth is I wasn't ready or even able to ... Read full review

Review: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

User Review  - Amber - Goodreads

This book was my first attempt on self-help. The concept seemed pretty simple -you have a problem, ask yourself four questions and get to the bottom of the problem. More often than not,the root of the ... Read full review


The Great Undoing
Entering the Dialogues
Deepening Inquiry
Doing The Work on Work and Money
Doing The Work on SelfJudgments
Doing The Work with Children
Doing The Work on Underlying Beliefs
Doing The Work on Any Thought or Situation
Doing The Work on the Body and Addictions
Making Friends with the Worst That Can Happen
Questions and Answers
The Work in Your Life

Common terms and phrases

About the author (2003)

Byron Katie experienced what she calls “waking up to reality” in 1986, and since then she has introduced The Work to hundreds of thousands of people throughout the world. In addition to her public events, she has introduced The Work into business settings, universities, schools, churches, prisons, and hospitals.

Stephen Mitchell’s many books include the best-selling Tao Te Ching, Bhagavad Gita, The Gospel According to Jesus, Meetings with the Archangel, and The Frog Prince.

From the Hardcover edition.

Bibliographic information