I, Superhero!! :: We Wear Tights So You Won't Have ToEvildoers, Take Heed! Justice has a new face, and it wears a mask. Who are we talking about? Ordinary folk like Mike McMullen, a.k.a. The Amazing Whitebread, who become something entirely new and occasionally borderline pathological: Real-Life Superheroes (RLSHs). "Being a singing superheroine is a way for me to not only pay the bills, it also helps me give the baddies such a headache." --Danger Woman Complete with costumes and all the gadgetry they can afford from selling old copies of Action Comics on eBay, RLSHs dish out their own brand of justice--while criminals go about their business and law enforcers roll their eyes. "Me and Shadowhare were walking past a bank and we stopped to make a phone call. As soon as we started walking away, the police came up and said, 'Do you know why we stopped you? Because you guys are wearing masks standing in front of a bank.'" --Mr. Xtreme McMullen spans the country, coach class, seeking to develop his own RLSH identity and address such weighty issues as: Sidekicks: Faithful wards or CPS bait? Bad Guys: Where the hell are they all hiding? Super-tights: How snug is too snug? So don your mask, suck in your gut, and join us. "Hey, you're with a superhero. . .what could go wrong?" --Geist, the Emerald Cowboy Michael McMullen, a.k.a. The Amazing Whitebread, was born in Wichita Falls, Texas. He earned an undergraduate degree in history and philosophy, and subsequently took the only employment option open to someone with the resultant lack of marketable skills: government service. He's worked as an intelligence analyst for the U.S. Department of Justice for just over a decade and currently lives in Arlington, Texas, with his wife, Lauren, and their children, Grant and Gracie. His hobbies include aspiring to get some woodworking done, thinking about learning a musical instrument, and trying to get interested in any computer game other than Text Twist. He has had short pieces published in various science fiction/fantasy magazines and currently holds the record for "Worst-Kept Secret Identity." |
Contents
IN WHICH I EXERCISEKINDA | |
SUPERWHATNOW? | |
MASTER LEGEND | |
SIDEKICKS | |
MR XTREME | |
DOES THIS CAPE MAKE MY BUTT LOOK BIG? | |
THE BAD GUYS ARE BROUGHT | |
SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH AMAZONIA | |
ME GEIST AND MYJUNK | |
LESSONS LEARNED | |
The Amazing Whitebreads Legion of Superbuddies | |
Mortified by Justice | |
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Common terms and phrases
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