Loving an Adult Child of an AlcoholicThe child of an alcoholic develops patterns of behavior during childhood which carry over into adult life. As children they were taught to cover up the family secret and suppress their feelings. No matter what is going on, as adults, when asked how she or he is doing your partner will likely answer "fine." Distrust, fear of abandonment, and sensitivity to criticism are all major issues for your adult child. Recognizing these patterns and changing the ones that cause problems will help you and your partner enjoy a deeper relationship. |
Contents
| 1 | |
| 7 | |
2 Entering the Mind Field | 29 |
3 Putting the Fun Back in Dysfunction | 53 |
4 The PushPull of Commitment and Trust | 65 |
5 The Paradox of Chronic Tension | 79 |
6 He had a Hat | 91 |
7 They Dont Know Theyre Beautiful | 103 |
11 Too Nice | 135 |
12 Parenting is Scary for Most PeopleEspecially Your Adult Child | 149 |
13 ACOAs Frequently Dread Social Occasions | 161 |
14 Birds of a Feather | 173 |
15 Tending to Your Relationship | 181 |
16 Dealing with Addiction Problems | 189 |
17 Religion Helps Us | 199 |
Conclusion | 213 |
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Common terms and phrases
able Abraham Twerski abusive ACOA addicted adult behavior adult child agape alco alcoholic home alcoholic parent Alcoholics Anonymous ambiguous losses anger angry asked become behavioral patterns Betty calm cause childhood experiences childhood patterns children of alcoholics church Claudia Black codependent committed relationship companion couple Dave Deerfield Beach develop dinner discussed drinking drunk effort emotional encourage example experienced fear felt friends give going growing happy healthy help your partner holic holidays husband individuals John Bradshaw kids knew laugh Lisa listen look marriage married Melody Beattie mother negative nurse off-and-on panic disorder patients patterns of behavior person problems psychotherapy realize recognize rela response Rod Steiger schizophrenia self-esteem share Sharon situations social stress surprised Suzanne Somers talk tell tension therapist therapy things thoughts and feelings tionship told trauma twelve-step program uncon unconsciously understand wife worried