Dog Ear Publishing, LLC, 2011 - 384 pages
"Maybe someone was out to ruin us, just like Nadine said. But why? What did we ever do to anyone?" I am Lucy Mackensie, fourteen going on exasperated grown-up. I am sensible. I am not a fan of random, senseless, uncontrollable... stuff. I have no interest in ridiculous attraction or squishy, romantic feelings. But lately that is what life seems to be throwing at me while I long for stability, peace, and control. Lately, it seems that someone, somewhere, has control over everything in my life, and I have control over nothing. My life in Minneapolis is coming apart at its very seams, and I suddenly have no will of my own when it comes to a certain hunkyhandsome someone who I have no business noticing. And so, instead of peace or control, it is all numb fingers, rhinoceroses, aliens, tractor-beam voodoo, and heavy elephants.... Welcome to my story and my out-of-control roller coaster life. Better buckle up. (And maybe grab a tissue - for some parts.) Words of wisdom from Nadine Brentwood, a.k.a. my best friend: "Need I remind you that the world is chock full of posers, a.k.a. hypocrites? If you're not into it or whatever, you shouldn't fake it. It's not like God is ever fooled. You make a choice and pay the price later. It's simple. Amazing how many people don't get that." "The answer is not to have everyone else give their money away, but to make sure that there are opportunities for people to make their own money - if they actually want to." "You, like many, are holding out for the big dreamy enchilada: Prince Charming with a personality and brain cells, right? We all start out that way, ruined for regular guys by Disney movies from, like, the age of two; holding out for that hunky male, main character dude....Well, my dreamy little friendsy, I'm sorry to wake you, but you attend Pearson Academy. There are no princes, charming or otherwise, to be had. None. Nada. Nil. In fact, let me extend that to the entire metropolitan area." Words of wisdom (?) from Mac, a.k.a. my dad: ..". who knows what might have been? ... Doesn't matter. What matters is what is, and what is is... huh. I totally lost my train of thought. Sorry. I'm starving - do you want to join me for a little drive-up junk food?" "What better and bigger trip could there be than to have an adoring daughter and to feel fairly successful as a dad?" "It's one thing to burn a bridge, but did I have to use my biggest rocket launcher and blast it to smithereens?"
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