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adults American anger argue bad girls believe blue-collar workers boys Census child complain conflicts culture cunnilingus David Lockwood deferred gratification divorce dream drinking early emotional ethnic experience fact fantasy father feel fellatio friends girls guess guys happen hard high-school Holly dale housewife income issues keep kids kind knew labor least less lives look male marriage married mass media mean middle-class families mother of three Nancy Chodorow never night okay oral sex oral-genital stimulation orgasm pain parents percent problems professional middle professional middle-class reality relationship response role seems sense sexual behavior sexual conflicts shared Shostak skill social sometimes stay home struggle sure talk tell there's things thought tion true understand wife wives and husbands woman working-class families working-class women worry young