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anger arthritis asked Auschwitz bad feelings became began bitter body broken Buchenwald cancer chair challenge cheeks cheerful child Christ Corinthians crippling crutch Dave death deep depression disease doctor dying eyes face faith father feet felt forgive friends gift God's grace grew guilt hands happiness hated head healing heart heart attack Holy hopelessness hurt husband inner John and Peter knew learned living look marriage Mayo Clinic meditation mental illness mind mongoloid moth mother ness never night prayers nurse oxygen oxygen tent pain parents Paul peace person Peter's illness physical therapy piano prayed pull realize sadness seemed self-pity share Siamese cat sick slowly smile someone spirit struggled suddenly suffering tears therapy thing thought tion tired touch trying turn ugly unconscious understand voice walk wanted watched weeks wheelchair woman words