Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality

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Harper Collins, May 3, 2011 - Religion - 288 pages
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This groundbreaking book, now updated and expanded, furthers its original, effective, time-saving approach that benefits pastors overtaxed by counseling demands. Dr. Charles Kollar presents a departure in pastoral counseling, showing that counseling need not be long-term or depend on psychological manipulation to produce dramatic results. In most cases, the solution lies with the counselees themselves. Using the tested methods found in Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling, pastors, apart from counselors, will be well equipped to help their counselees discover a solution and put it in motion speedily and productively. SFPC is short-term—typically one to five sessions, in which the counselor seeks to create solutions with—not for—the counselee. The focus is on the possibility of life without the problem through an understanding of what is different when the problem does not occur or is less intrusive. The goal is healthy change, sooner rather than later, by helping the counselee see and work on the solution with God’s activity already present in his or her life. The solution-focused approach does not require the counselor to be a highly trained psychological expert. It requires biblically based sensitivity and common sense. Yet this approach also recognizes its limitations and understands that there are situations in which other professional and/or medical help is required.

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A Description of Life without the Problem
Describe the Goal
Clarify the Goal
Formulate the Goal
Scale the Goal
Followup Questions
Promoting and Supporting Change
Presenting Problem

Agreement with Gods Intention
The World of Mental Health
Symptoms or Stuck?
How Do You See?
Mind of Christ
Counseling and the Pastor
The Nature of Psychopathology
Williams Story
A Counterculture
Old Wineskins
What Is the Root Cause of the Problem?
What Is Maintaining the Problem?
How Do We Create Solutions?
The Constructs That Bind Us
Constructivism and Labeling
Suggesting a Context for Change
Problem Idolatry
The Process of Gods Grace
Developmental Paradigm
Agreement with the Spirits Intention
The Issues of Life
The Goal of SolutionFocused Pastoral Counseling
The Church
A Way of Thinking
1 God Is Already Active in the Counselee
2 Complex Problems Do Not Demand Complex Solutions
3 Finding Exceptions Helps Create Solutions
4 The Counselee Is Always Changing
5 The Counselee Is the Expert and Defines Goals
6 Solutions Are Cocreated
7 The Counselee Is Not the Problem the Problem Is
8 The Counseling Relationship Is Positional
9 If Its Not Broken Dont Fix It
A Framework for Change
A Search for Clues
Feeling Heard
Demonstrating Fit
Giving Encouraging Feedback
Looking for Clues
Awaiting an Invitation
Highlighting Change as Meaningful
Recent Change
Future Focus
When Counseling Is Not Effective
Exceptions to the Problem
Supportive ComplimentsPositive actions reduced fears reveal strengths
Educative Comments
AfterSession SuggestionsGoal description and task
Consolidating Change
When Things Are Better
When Things Are the Same
When Things Have Become Worse
When There Has Been a Setback
Bob and Alice Session Two
A Case Example
CarolynSession Two
Carolyn and SFPC Assumptions
Further Development
The Miracle Question
The Break
Applied in the Life Context
Becoming Solution FocusedRegarding Suicide Prevention
Becoming Solution FocusedRegarding Grief and EndofLife Counseling
Becoming Solution FocusedRegarding Substance Abuse
Becoming Solution FocusedRegarding Teens
Becoming Solution FocusedRegarding Eating Disorders
Becoming Solution FocusedRegarding Sexual Abuse
Becoming Solution FocusedRegarding Financial Counseling
Becoming Solution Focusedwith Pastoral Staff and Volunteers
Becoming Solution Focused withthe MyersBriggs Type Indicator MBTI
Drawing from the Best
SolutionFocused Tasks
Is There Hope?
Ethical Considerations
1 Remain Alert to Your Limitations
2 Counseling Must Be Informed by a Theoretical Framework of Identity Formation and Therapeutic Assumptions
3 The Rights of the Counselee Are Primary
4 Make Every Effort to Refrain from Dual Relationships
6 The Counselor Must Not Become Romantically or Sexually Intimate with a Counselee
7 Do Not Use Diagnostic or Treatment Procedures That You Have Not Been Professionally Trained In
About the Author
About the Publisher

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About the author (2011)

Dr. Charles Allen Kollar is a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Certified Relationship Specialist, and the lead pastor at Innovation Church in Cresco, PA

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