The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband*A New York Times Bestseller* A warm and hilarious memoir by a man diagnosed with Asperger syndrome who sets out to save his relationship. Five years after David Finch married Kristen, the love of his life, they learned that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explained David’s ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, but it didn’t make him any easier to live with. Determined to change, David set out to understand Asperger syndrome and learn to be a better husband with an endearing zeal. His methods for improving his marriage involve excessive note-taking, performance reviews, and most of all, the Journal of Best Practices: a collection of hundreds of maxims and hard-won epiphanies, including “Don’t change the radio station when she’s singing along” and “Apologies do not count when you shout them.” David transforms himself from the world’s most trying husband to the husband who tries the hardest. He becomes the husband he’d always meant to be. Filled with humor and wisdom, The Journal of Best Practices is a candid story of ruthless self-improvement, a unique window into living with an autism spectrum condition, and proof that a true heart is the key to happy marriage. |
From inside the book
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Page 3
... thoughts organized). As usual, I took note ofwhich lights were on. I don't normally shut them off, Ijust like to check in and see how they're doing. Dining room light on, piano lamp not on, foyer not on, hallway on, kitchen off(that's ...
... thoughts organized). As usual, I took note ofwhich lights were on. I don't normally shut them off, Ijust like to check in and see how they're doing. Dining room light on, piano lamp not on, foyer not on, hallway on, kitchen off(that's ...
Page 17
... thoughts, and keep myself organized at a functional level that I can't achieve on my own. But there is no silver bullet that will eliminate all the difficulties that come with Asperger's. If there had been a single pill that would help ...
... thoughts, and keep myself organized at a functional level that I can't achieve on my own. But there is no silver bullet that will eliminate all the difficulties that come with Asperger's. If there had been a single pill that would help ...
Page 19
... thought of something I wanted to address, or when I learned something in an argument with Kristen, I would write it down. Don't change the radio station when she's singing along. When she's on the phone, don'tforce yourself into the ...
... thought of something I wanted to address, or when I learned something in an argument with Kristen, I would write it down. Don't change the radio station when she's singing along. When she's on the phone, don'tforce yourself into the ...
Page 26
... thoughts ignited by my own sexual imagination by the time Kristen started going out with Mike. This was during her ... thought I had him pegged. Earrings, muscles, attitude, and he could probably grow a beard—this guy was definitely ...
... thoughts ignited by my own sexual imagination by the time Kristen started going out with Mike. This was during her ... thought I had him pegged. Earrings, muscles, attitude, and he could probably grow a beard—this guy was definitely ...
Page 31
... thought. One night in May, Kristen and I met at our usual spot. She had recently gone on vacation and I was eager to hear about her trip. We took our favorite seats beside the fireplace—a pair of plush, oversized chairs that we liked to ...
... thought. One night in May, Kristen and I met at our usual spot. She had recently gone on vacation and I was eager to hear about her trip. We took our favorite seats beside the fireplace—a pair of plush, oversized chairs that we liked to ...
Contents
1 | |
21 | |
39 | |
Chapter 3Get inside her girl world and look around | 57 |
Chapter 4Just listen | 69 |
Better tofold and put away than to take only what you needfrom the dryer | 89 |
Chapter 6Go with theflow | 105 |
Chapter 7When necessary redefine perfection | 123 |
Chapter 8Be loyal to your true stakeholders | 141 |
Chapter 9Take notes | 159 |
Chapter 10Give Kristen time to shower without crowding her | 171 |
Chapter 11Be present in moments with the kids | 185 |
Chapter 12Parties are supposed to be fun | 197 |
The Final Best PracticeDont make everything a Best Practice | 217 |
Acknowledgments | 223 |
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Common terms and phrases
Andy and Mary Asperger syndrome Asperger’s autism spectrum conditions bathroom bedroom behaviors Best Practices better can’t Clint clothes conversation Dave David David Finch Deadliest Catch Delemont diagnosis doesn’t door eight thirty Emily and Parker emotional empathy everything eyes feel felt folded friends fucking girl going hadn’t hand happy hour Hugh Grant husband I’ve Journal of Best kids kitchen knew Kristen asked laugh laundry learned listen living look Lucky magazine marriage married Mary’s Meredith minutes morning neurotypical never night nodded Nora Ephron notebook o’clock obsession Okay parents parties perfect performance review person play relationship routine Scattergories seemed she’d shit shower social someone SportsCenter started talking tell there’s they’re things thought told Toyota Camry trying upstairs wasn’t watching We’re week What’s wonder you’re