English as She is Spoke: Or, A Jest in Sober Earnest

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D. Appleton & Company, 1884 - English language - 60 pages
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The most perfect of trainwrecks.
This book was destined for disaster before pen was put to paper. Using a Portugese-French phrasebook and a French-English dictionary is not how you make a book that
works the way it's supposed to. Thankfully, it ended up working absolutely amazingly in a way nobody ever intended. It is the horse_ebooks of its day, the voice of heaven tumbling out of baffling madness in such famous phrases as "To craunch the marmoset". Even better, it's free! There is no reason not to read this rare gem of a book. 

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Page 60 - This book is a preservation photocopy. It was produced on Hammermill Laser Print natural white, a 60 # book weight acid-free archival paper which meets the requirements of ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992 (permanence of paper) Preservation photocopying and binding by Acme Bookbinding Charlestown, Massachusetts CD 1995 The borrower must return this item on or before the last date stamped below.
Page 2 - We expect then, who the little book (for the care what we wrote him, and for her typographical correction) that may be worth the acceptation of the studious persons, and especially of the Youth, at which we dedicate him particularly.
Page 1 - It was resulting from that carelessness to rest these Works Jill of imperfections, and anomalies of style ; in spite of the infinite typographical faults which some times, invert the sense of the periods. It increase not to contain any of those Works the figured pronunciation of the english words, nor the prosodical accent in the Portuguese; indispensable object whom wish to speak the english and Portuguese languages correctly.
Page 21 - For make a visit in the morning. Is your master at home ? Yes, sir. Is it up. No, sir, he sleep yet. I go make that he get up. It come in one's ? How is it, you are in bed yet ? Yesterday at evening, I was to bed so late that I may not rising me soon that morning.
Page 33 - Give mi another i will not that. He not sail know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered. Dont you are ashamed to give me a jade as like ? he is undshoed he is with nails up : it want to lead to the farrier.
Page 53 - A physician eighty years of age had enjoied of a health unalterable. Theirs friends did him of it compliments every days. "" Mister doctor," they said to him, "you are admirable man. What you make then for to bear you as well?" " I shall tell you it, gentlemen/' he was answered them : " and I exhort you in same time at to follow my example. I live of the product of my ordering, without take any remedy who I command to my sicks.
Page 41 - Never have you not done wreck? That it is arrived me twice. With a gardener, Shall I eat some plums soon ? It is not the season yet; but here is some peaches what does ripen at the eye sight. It delay me to eat some wal nuts-kernels ; take care not leave to pass the season.

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