Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen

Penguin, Nov 2, 2010 - Psychology - 352 pages

The 10th-anniversary edition of the New York Times business bestseller-now updated with "Answers to Ten Questions People Ask"

We attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day-whether dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with a spouse, or negotiating with a client. From the Harvard Negotiation Project, the organization that brought you Getting to Yes, Difficult Conversations provides a step-by-step approach to having those tough conversations with less stress and more success. you'll learn how to:

· Decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation
· Start a conversation without defensiveness
· Listen for the meaning of what is not said
· Stay balanced in the face of attacks and accusations
· Move from emotion to productive problem solving

Contents

• Sort Out the Three Conversations: 3
• Explore Each Others Stories: 25
• Disentangle Intent from Impact: 44
• Map the Contribution System: 58
• Have Your Feelings Or They Will Have You: 85
• Whats Your Purpose? When to Raise It and When to Let Go: 131
• Begin from the Third Story: 147
• Listen from the Inside Out: 163
• Speak for Yourself with: 185
• Ten Questions People Ask About: 235
• A Road Map to Difficult Conversations: 297
• Notes on Some Relevant Organizations: 313

About the author

Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen teach at Harvard Law School and the Harvard Negotiation Project. They have been consultants to businesspeople, governments, organizations, communities, and individuals around the world, and have written on negotiation and communication in publications ranging from the New York Times to Parents magazine. Bruce Patton is also a co-author of Getting to Yes. Each of them lives in Boston, Massachusetts.

Stone and Heen are the authors of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (Even When It Is Off Base, Unfair, Poorly Delivered, and Frankly, You're Not in the Mood) (Viking/Penguin, 2014)

Roger Fisher is the Samuel Williston Professor of Law Emeritus, Director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, and the founder of two consulting organizations devoted to strategic advice and negotiation training.

Bibliographic information

• Title: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
• Authors: Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen
• Contributor: Roger Fisher
• Edition: illustrated
• Publisher: Penguin, 2010
• ISBN: 0143118447, 9780143118442
• Length: 352 pages
• Subjects: Business & Economics / Management Science; Psychology / Interpersonal Relations; Self-Help / Personal Growth / Success