Shopping with Ding-A-Ling
This book contains a collection of incidents involving shopping with Ding-A-Ling, my mother-in-law. It is not meant to ridicule her, but simply is a recounting of her ways of twisting words and thoughts. She was born with an obvious learning disability. It is difficult for her to find appropriate words and to pronounce them correctly. As a person who was blessed at birth with the ability to manipulate words, I think the good Lord put me with Ding-A-Ling on purpose. My job has been to straighten out the grammatical mistakes she has made; she, however, has viewed this in a different light. I am sure she has always felt that I have been making fun of her. Nothing could be further from the truth; I have only wanted to keep others from ridiculing her. Many people think Ding-A-Ling's mistakes are due to senility. At her age, this could be partially true. I have concluded, however, that deep inside her brain is more intelligence than people give her credit for. Her ability to analyze numbers is phenomenal. It is simply a case of an area of her brain not operating correctly when the manipulation of words is required.
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aisle asked Atlanta bamboo bird cage began black car black pickup trucks bought Christmas compact disk credit card Ding-A-Ling’s dining room chair doctor doctor’s office drive anymore driveway drove ever-so-often face gently Georgia getting somewhere happened he…he…he Helen highway I’ve inch interstate interstate highway jogging suit Jonesboro kind lady knew legs light look loudspeaker meant miles per hour mistake movie Sarafina never opens right outfits Pakistani paraffin wax Parafina patrol cars perfume porch thing power company problem pulled purse rearview mirror replied restaurant road robbed safe deposit box Senior Citizens She’s Pakistani shopping trip snap sofa solid white southern sped spot spray Sunday school class sure tape thing telephone number tell thought told took my keys trying Turn left turned right vehicles voice wanted wasn’t white blouses white clump window words wrong yelled