Don't Call It Love: Recovery From Sexual Addiction"Dr. Patrick Carnes is a creative, pioneering, and courageous human being. His books are changing the lives of thousands!" "I lost three marriages, all because of affairs." "I became suicidal because of multiple intense involvements." "I spent money on sex when I needed it for children's clothes." "I lost promotion opportunities and a special scholarship because my co-workers found out about my sex life." Every day they face the possibility of destruction, risking their families, fiances, jobs, dignity, and health. They come from all walks of life: ministers, physicians, therapists, politicians, executives, blue-collar workers. Most were abused as children--sexually, physically or emotionally--and saw addictive behavior in their early lives. Most grapple with other addictions as well, but their fiercest battle is with the most astounding prevalent "secret" disorder in America: sexual addiction. Here is a ground-breaking work by the nation's leading professional expert on sexual addiction, based on the candid testimony of more than one thousand recovering sexual addicts in the first major scientific study of the disorder. This essential volume includes not only the revealing findings of Dr. Carne's research with recovering addicts but also advice from the addicts and co-addicts themselves as they work to overcome their compulsive behavior. Positive, hopeful, and practical, Don't Call It Love is a landmark book that helps us better understand all addictions, their causes, and the difficult path to recovery. |
Contents
| 9 | |
Transformation of an illness | 177 |
The Tasks of the First Year | 210 |
Rebuilding | 259 |
Working a Program and Healthy Sex | 299 |
Family of Origin and Child Abuse | 328 |
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Common terms and phrases
able accept acting addicts and coaddicts adult alcohol Alcoholics Anonymous Anonymous asked become boundaries celibacy child abuse codependency compulsive compulsive gambling couples crisis culture denial developed drugs dysfunctional emotional emotional abuse example experience family of origin fantasy father fear feelings felt focus friends happened healing important intimacy involved issues knew lives loss marriage Marty masturbation nurturing obsession pain parents partners patterns percent person physical pornography powerlessness problem prostitution realized recovering recovery relapse relationship responsibility risk seductive sense sex addicts Sex Addicts Anonymous Sexaholics Anonymous sexual abuse sexual activity sexual addiction sexual anorexia sexual behavior Sexual Compulsives Anonymous sexually explicit shame shame-based share sobriety someone spiritual sponsor started stop story stress survey talk tasks therapist therapy things tion told touch trust twelve step twelve step program unmanageability victims vulnerable wife women