Another Self: Middle-class American Women and Their Friends in the Twentieth Century

Front Cover
NYU Press, 1999 - Family & Relationships - 225 pages

From nineteenth-century romantic friendships to childhood best friends and idealistic versions of feminist sisterhood, female friendship has been seen as an essential, sustaining influence on women's lives. Women are thought to have a special aptitude for making and keeping friends.
But notions of friendship are not constant-and neither are women's experiences of this fundamental form of connection. In Another Self, Linda W. Rosenzweig sheds light on the changing nature of white middle-class American women's relationships during the coming of age of modern America.
As the middle-class domesticity of the nineteenth century waned, a new emotional culture arose in the twentieth century and the intensely affectionate bonds between women of earlier decades were supplanted by new priorities: autonomy, careers, participation in an expanding consumer culture, and the expectation of fulfillment and companionship in marriage. An increased emphasis on heterosexual interactions and a growing stigmatization of close same-sex relationships fostered new friendship styles and patterns.
Drawing on a wide range of primary sources including diaries, journals, correspondence, and popular periodicals, Rosenzweig uncovers the complex and intricate links between social and cultural developments and women's personal experiences of friendship.

From inside the book

Contents

Preface
ix
Female Friends before 1900
15
Young Womens Friendships
39
Young Womens Friendships
66
Adult Friends
98
TwentiethCentury Romantic Friendships
125
Friendships
149
Another Self? The Fabric of Friendship after 1960
169
Copyright

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Page 22 - We were at once fast friends, in thought and sympathy we were one, and in the division of labor we exactly complemented each other. In writing we did better work together than either could alone. While she is slow and analytical in composition, I am rapid and synthetic. I am the better writer, she the better critic. She supplied the facts and statistics, I the philosophy and rhetoric, and together we have made arguments that have stood unshaken by the storms of thirty long years: arguments that no...
Page 193 - America is now wholly given over to add mob of scribbling women, and I should have no chance of success while the public taste is occupied with their trash — and should be ashamed of myself if I did succeed.
Page 18 - I thank you Abiah, but I dont go from home, unless emergency leads me by the hand, and then I do it obstinately, and draw back if I can.
Page 35 - We use a different rhetoric. it seems as if we had been born and bred in different nations. You say you understand me wholly. But you cannot communicate yourself to me. i hear the words sometimes but remain a stranger to your state of mind.
Page 80 - We belonged to a generation of young women who felt extraordinarily free — free from the demand to marry unless we chose to do so, free to postpone marriage while we did other things, free from the need to bargain and hedge that had burdened and restricted women of earlier generations.
Page 90 - By the time I grew up the fight for the emancipation of women, their rights under the law, in the office, in bed, was stale stuff. My generation didn't think much about the place or the problems of women, were not conscious that the designs we saw around us had so recently been formed that we were still part of the formation. (Five or ten years...
Page 141 - I suppose there is one friend in the life of each of us who seems not a separate person, however dear and beloved, but an expansion, an interpretation, of one's self, the very meaning of one's soul.
Page 22 - So closely interwoven have been our lives, our purposes, and experiences, that separated we have a feeling of incompleteness, — united such strength of self-assertion that no ordinary obstacles, difficulties, or dangers ever appear to us insurmountable.
Page 13 - Oh, the comfort — the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person — having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.

About the author (1999)

Linda W. Rosenzweig is Professor of History at Chatham College. She is the author of The Anchor of My Life: Middle-Class American Mothers and Daughters, 1880-1920. She lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and Wellfleet, Massachusetts.