I'm OK--You're OK

Front Cover
Harper Collins, Aug 23, 2011 - Self-Help - 320 pages
10 Reviews

An enormously popular (7-million copies sold) and insightful classic of popular psychology based on Eric Berne’s theory of Transactional Analysis that has helped millions of people who never before felt OK about themselves find the freedom to change, to liberate their ADULT effectiveness, and to achieve joyful intimacy with the people in their lives.

Transactional analysis delineates three ego-states (parent, adult and child) as the basis for the content and quality of interpersonal communication. “Happy childhood” notwithstanding, says Harris, most of us are living out the not ok feelings of a defenseless child wholly dependent on ok others (parents) for stroking and caring. At some stage early in our lives we adopt a “position” about ourselves which very significantly determines how we feel about ourselves, particularly in relation to other people. And for a huge portion of the population, that position is that I’m Not OK-You’re OK. This negative Life Position, shared by successful and unsuccessful people alike, contaminates our rational adult potential, leaving us vulnerable to the inappropriate, emotional reactions of our child and the uncritically learned behavior programmed into our parent. By exploring the four basic “life positions,” we can radically change our lives.

 

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LibraryThing Review

User Review  - DinadansFriend - LibraryThing

Another good book about how it is possible for couples to have a reasonable set of rules for negotiating with each other. It was some help for me and showed me of the bad techniques employed by ex-wife number two. Read full review

LibraryThing Review

User Review  - dbsovereign - LibraryThing

The main criticism of the book lies in the fact that it misrepresents by oversimplifying transactional analysis. It was my introduction to the subject and managed to get me thinking about many of the roles we choose. Read full review

Contents

Freud Penfield and Berne
1
Parent Adult and Child
18
Structural Diagram of the Personality
21
The Child
27
Gradual Emergence of the Adult Beginning at Ten Months
32
The Adult Gets Data from Three Sources
33
The Updating Function of the Adult Through Reality Testing
35
The Four Life Positions
39
PatientNurse
87
TherapistPatient
88
ManAttendant
90
Adolescent GirlFriend
91
Little BoyLIttle Girl
92
VeronaBabbitt
93
HusbandWife
94
HusbandWife
95

Births of the Individual from Conception to Age Five
43
We Can Change
57
Prejudice
61
Analyzing the Transaction
68
ParentParent Transaction
72
AdultAdult Transaction
75
ChildChild Transaction
76
ChildParent Transaction
81
ParentChild Transaction
82
ChildAdult Transaction
83
AdultParent Transaction
84
CrossedTransaction
85
CrossedTransaction
86
How We Differ
102
Contamination
104
ParentContaminated Adult with a BlockedOut Child
106
ChildContaminated Adult with a BlockedOut Parent
107
The BlockedOut or Decommissioned Adult
110
How We Use Time 115 PAC and Marriage
128
PAC and Children
146
PAC and Adolescents
179
When Is Treatment Necessary?
202
PAC and Moral Values
220
Social Implications of PAC
250
Index
275
Copyright

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About the author (2011)

The late Thomas Harris was a Navy psychiatrist and a professor at the University of Arkansas. He practiced psychiatry in Sacramento, California and directed the Transactional Analysis Association.

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