Yes Means Yes: Getting Explicit about Heterosex

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Allen & Unwin, 2002 - Psychology - 204 pages
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This text explores female heterosexuality from a historical perspective. It argues that the so-called mass media is currently way ahead of theory in terms of recognition of women's diverse desires and pleasures. In both psychoanalytic and sexological writing, there appears to be an assumption that a woman who wants sex, particularly bad or slutty sex, is in some way masculine - that she identifies with men rather than women. This assumption is reproduced in feminist writing which sees a sexually active woman as either duped or colluding with the oppressor.

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Page 68 - It should not involve pornography, fetish objects, sex toys of any sort, or roles other than male and female. Any sex that violates these rules is "bad," "abnormal," or "unnatural." Bad sex may be homosexual, unmarried, promiscuous, nonprocreative, or commercial. It may be masturbatory or take place at orgies, may be casual, may cross generational lines, and may take place in "public," or at least in the bushes or the baths.
Page 43 - On the other hand, the abandonment of the reproductive function is the common feature of all perversions. We actually describe a sexual activity as perverse if it has given up the aim of reproduction and pursues the attainment of pleasure as an aim independent of it.
Page 68 - According to this system, sexuality that is "good," "normal" and "natural" should ideally be heterosexual, marital, monogamous, reproductive, and non-commercial. It should be coupled, relational, within the same generation, and occur at home. It should not involve pornography, fetish objects, sex toys of any sort, or roles other than male or female. Any sex that violates these rules is "bad," "abnormal,
Page 68 - Most systems of sexual judgment - religious, psychological, feminist, or socialist - attempt to determine on which side of the line a particular act falls. Only sex acts on the good side of the line are accorded moral complexity. For instance, heterosexual encounters may be sublime or disgusting, free or forced, healing or destructive, romantic or mercenary. As long as it does not violate other rules, heterosexuality is acknowledged to exhibit the full range of human experience.
Page 31 - Straight women are confused by men, don't put women first. They betray lesbians and in its deepest form, they betray their own selves. You can't build a strong movement if your sisters are out there fucking with the...
Page 26 - If I Can't Dance I Don't Want to Be Part of Your Revolution.
Page 110 - The whore is pome, the lowest whore, the whore who belongs to all male citizens: the slut, the cunt. Buying her is buying pornography. Having her is having pornography. Seeing her is seeing pornography. Seeing her sex, especially her genitals, is seeing pornography. Seeing her in sex is seeing the whore in sex. Using her is using pornography. Wanting her means wanting pornography. Being her means being pornography.

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Gender after Lyotard

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About the author (2002)

Kath Albury is a freelance writer/researcher/broadcaster, specialising in sexuality and popular culture. She is also known as 'Nurse Nancy', drag diva Vanessa Wagner's favorite comedic sexpert. Kath is currently completing a PhD in Media and Communications at the University of NSW. Her academic research has been presented at a number of local and international conferences, including the University of California's 1998 World Pornography Conference.

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