A Budget of Wit and Humour; Or, Morsels of Mirth for the Melancholy: A Certain Cure the T̕he Blues, ̕and All Other Serious Complaints ...

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C. Marshall, 1849 - 160 pages
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Page 156 - Oft in the stilly night Ere slumber's chain has bound me, Fond memory brings the light Of other days around me: The smiles, the tears Of boyhood's years, The words of love then spoken; The eyes that shone, Now dimmed and gone, The cheerful hearts now broken!
Page 155 - Woodman, spare that tree ! Touch not a single bough ! In youth it sheltered me, And I'll protect it now. 'Twas my forefather's hand That placed it near his cot; There, woodman, let it stand, Thy axe shall harm it not. That old familiar tree, Whose glory and renown Are spread o'er land and sea — And wouldst thou hew it down? Woodman, forbear thy stroke! Cut not its earth-bound ties ; Oh, spare that aged oak Now towering to the skies ! When but an idle boy, I sought its grateful shade; In...
Page 155 - For auld lang syne, my dear, For auld lang syne, We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet, For auld lang syne! Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind ? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And auld lang syne ? And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp, And surely I'll be mine, And we'll tak a cup o...
Page 94 - I'ma poor man, it's a fact, and smell like a wet dog; but I can't be run over. I'm the identical individual that grinned a whole menagerie out of countenance, and made the ribbed nose baboon hang down his head and blush. Whoop! I'm the chap that towed the Broadhorn...
Page 95 - Cock-a-doodle-doo! Maybe you never heard of the time the horse kicked me and put both his hips out of jint — if it ain't true, cut me up for cat fish bait!
Page 28 - It is supposed to be a mere appendage, just to wear a hat upon, to fill up the hollow of a wig, to take snuff with, or have your hair dressed upon. Some of these heads are manufactured in wood...
Page 46 - You'd be the first to cut me down. Wife. Then I ought to be tied up in your stead. Husband. I'd cut you down. Wife. You would Husband. Yes — but I'd be sure you were dead first.
Page 159 - I want to please all with my song. A man that's in want of a place, You'll say that no fate can be worse ; A man that's in want of some money, He's not much in want of a purse. A man that's in want of his teeth, Had better give over nut-cracking, And he that wants shoes to his feet Need not lay out his money in blacking.
Page 115 - And, sir, if my course is not directly adopted, he cannot live." Come rich and poor, &c. For full an hour, they jaw'd away, Not forwarder, though tired ; Meantime, as grim death would not stay, The patient had expired. But still with force did each persist, To call each other ninny ; And then with grace held out his fist, To touch the golden guinea. Spoken — " Well, sir, your mode of practice has convinced me that you are non compos mentis.
Page 174 - ... impersonation of chagrin. Singularly enough, in the same court and on the same day, the laugh was equally turned against another counsel who was doing his best to be at once severe and witty at the expense of an adverse witness. The latter was one of the skin-and-bone class of persons, and by a curious coincidence so was the counsel. You could not look on either without coming to the conclusion that to partake of a substantial meal must be an era in their existence.

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