I'm Dancing As Fast As I Can

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Harper Collins, 1989 - Biography & Autobiography - 313 pages
4 Reviews
An Emmy-winning TV producer recounts her Valium-induced breakdown, her stays in two mental hospitals, and her struggle to begin a new life

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LibraryThing Review

User Review  - pamkaye - LibraryThing

Barbara's story is fascinating. I found I couldn't put the book down. Barbara Gordon, a documentary producer finds herself addicted to Valium. The decision to just stop taking them cold turkey, causes ... Read full review

LibraryThing Review

User Review  - karen.24 - LibraryThing

This is a book about addiction. I think the book is more about mental illness than substance abuse. The author goes through many things, she is "lost to self". She is put into several mental ... Read full review


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Section 14

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Page 186 - While others may argue about whether the world ends with a bang or a whimper, I just want to make sure mine doesn't end with a whine.
Page 100 - I knew what he was going to say before he said it. It was as if I had heard it all before, as if we had been rehearsing it for years. Mr. Cochran said, "I'll leave it up to him.
Page 115 - I'm not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I should be able to get back to you sometime today or tomorrow.
Page 52 - I blew my head open...By early afternoon I began to feel a creeping sense of anxiety. But it was different from my usual bouts of terror. It felt like little jolts of electricity, as if charged pins and needles were shooting through my body. My breathing became rapid and I began to perspire...Restaurants were too noisy, streets too wide, stores to crowded, buildings too tall, elevators too fast.
Page 19 - It was as if we had known each other all our lives, you know, travel in the same circles.
Page 52 - It couldn't happen here...My scalp started to burn as if I had hot coals under my hair. Then I began to experience funny little twitches, spasms, a jerk of a leg, a flying arm, tiny tremors that soon turned into convulsions. I held on to the bed, trying to relax. It was impossible. I told myself it was just a twenty-four hour withdrawal, that it was nothing. I could take it...
Page 181 - I could show her the anguish I felt. So I decided to draw the color of the fire blazing in my head — an orange, yellow, red jungle of a fire. Then I painted the gray fog that seemed to surround my brain like a shroud. And that afternoon I brought the childish primitives to her office so she could see what I no longer had the words to describe. Like a...
Page 181 - I held in my hand, somewhere deep inside me I heard a voice saying, "It's eleven o'clock on a Tuesday morning and you're sitting here modeling clay for your health. Barbara Gordon, you are in occupational therapy, next thing you know you'll be weaving baskets.

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About the author (1989)

Gordon, a twenty-year veteran of television, and the winner of three Emmy Awards, broke a forty-year smoking habit with the help of Yefim Shubentsov.

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