Letting Go with Love and Confidence: Raising Responsible, Resilient, Self-Sufficient Teens in the 21st Century

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Penguin, Aug 2, 2011 - Family & Relationships - 368 pages
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A parenting guide to adolescence - a sensible and considerate resource for navigating your teen to adulthood, transforming a traditional time of strife into an opportunity for positive growth for both you and your child.

For parents, nurturing their teens to become healthy, well-adjusted adults seems more challenging now than ever before. There are many pressures for kids to grow up faster than they should. Here, renowned adolescent medicine specialist Kenneth Ginsburg, M.D., and award-winning journalist Susan FitzGerald offer parents a practical, thoughtful strategy for guiding children through all the turning points on the way to adulthood - the "whens" and "hows" of adolescence.

Letting Go with Live and Confidence helps parents achieve five goals:

  • Manage Their Own Emotions. Many parents are conflicted about their teens growing up. The desire to keep things the way they've always been may get in the way of wise parental decisions. This book addresses the emotional turmoil that surrounds letting go, and urges parents to care for themselves, so they can better care for their children.
  • Reduce Conflict Around the Whens. It's the everyday "When can I?" questions that trigger many struggles. Parents will learn to turn potential sources of conflict into opportunities for growth as they consider 18 scenarios, including When is my child ready to stay home alone? Get a cell phone? Manage money? Date? Drive?
  • Minimize Anxiety Over the Hows. Certain subjects are tough to talk about and the stakes in these conversations are high. How in the world do you talk about sex? Drugs? Peer pressure? Parents will learn how to approach critical topics with honesty and clarity, increasing the chances that they'll actually be heard.
  • Gain Confidence To Make the Right Decisions. Parents reading this book will be better prepared to make decisions because they'll have a strategy to apply to each situation and gain new insight into their child's developmental needs.
  • Understand That Nurturing Independence Is An Act of Love. The ultimate goal of parenting is to produce a well-adjusted adult. When teens understand that their parents support their independence, they're less likely to rebel. As importantly, when independence is not a battle, families can move toward lifelong interdependence.

    Letting Go with Live and Confidence is filled with the latest findings on successful parenting and is infused with Dr. Ginsburg's expert advice on how to build resilience in teens. This comprehensive volume also contains stories from real parents from diverse backgrounds who have faced the challenges of raising teens. Empowering and groundbreaking, this book is a one-stop resource to parenting teens in the twenty-first century.
 

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Contents

GETTING USED TO CURFEWS
MAKING CURFEWS WORK FOR YOU AND YOUR TEEN
RITE OF PASSAGE
START EARLY
TO BUY A CAR?
WHY WORK?
THINK THINGS THROUGH
COLLEGE ADMISSIONS

SAFETY
THE BENEFITS OF GROUP RULES
PRACTICALITY
MORALITY
FOUR PARENTING STYLES
ADJUSTING YOUR STYLE
LISTENING AND TALKING WELL
DISCIPLINE
AN END TO NAGGING AND UNREASONABLE PUNISHMENT
TEMPERAMENT
A BIRDSEYE VIEW OF DEVELOPMENT
YOUR TEENS BRAIN
PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT
COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT
MORAL DEVELOPMENT
EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT
SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT
SO WHERE DOES YOUR CHILD FIT?
ITS NOT EASY BEING A KID
SAYING NO AND KEEPING YOUR FRIENDS IN THE PROCESS
SHIFTING THE BLAME
SIZING UP SAFETY
WHY WALK?
FIRST LITTLE STEPS
WHY HOME ALONE?
TOO OLD FOR A BABYSITTER?
THE GOOD STUFF
WHAT STYLE SAYS
MINIMIZE THE CONFLICTS
WHATS NEEDED TO SUCCEED IN THE INTERNET AGE OR NOT
SAFETY
USE COMMON SENSE
KNOWING AND PREPARING YOUR CHILD
LETS NOT FORGET FACE TIME
YOU CANT TEXT YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE
WORKING IT OUT IN ADVANCE
CULTIVATING THE RIGHT VALUES
GOOD OR BAD?
WHAT ABOUT CREDIT CARDS?
WHY THE MALL OR WHY NOT?
MASTERING THE MALL STEP BY STEP
PLANES TRAINS AND OTHER THINGS
BABYSITTING
HELPING OUT GRANDMA
STAY CALM
GETTING PREPARED
STEP BY STEP STARTING EARLY
MIDDLE SCHOOL
HIGH SCHOOL
WHY TEENS OFTEN FIGHT RELIGION
SOME TEENS DRAW CLOSER TO FAITH
KEEPING THE CONNECTION GOING
RAISING A CONFIDENT HEALTH CARE CONSUMER
HOW DO YOU DEFINE SUCCESS?
THE DOWNSIDE OF SUCCESS
ARE LAZY KIDS REALLY LAZY?
ALL KIDS CAN SUCCEED
DISAPPOINTMENT AND FAILURE
OVERSCHEDULED KIDS AND OVERBOOKED PARENTS
THE YEARROUND ATHLETE
STRESS IS A SURVIVAL TOOL THAT CAN HELP US OR HARM US
GOOD FIXES BAD FIXES
SIZING UP STRESS
HOW THE STRESSMANAGEMENT PLAN WAS CREATED
THE PRINCIPLES BEHIND THE PLAN
THE TENPOINT STRESSMANAGEMENT PLAN
THE PLAN ISNT ALWAYS THE ONLY ANSWER
A DEVELOPMENTAL VIEW
SOME PROBLEMS TO CONSIDER
MEANGIRLS PHENOMENON
RELATIONAL AGGRESSION SHUNNING
WAYS TO IMMUNIZE YOUR TEEN AGAINST TROUBLING PEER INFLUENCES
GETTING GROUNDED
YOU KNOW MORE THAN YOU THINK
GETTING THE TONE RIGHT
YOUR WATCHFUL EYE
DID YOU DO DRUGS?
SEXUALITY IS ABOUT A LOT MORE THAN SEX
DISCUSSING SEX DOES NOT GIVE A MIXED MESSAGE
TAKE THAT BREATH
MEDIA IS YOUR FRENEMY
SPECIAL TOPICS
YOURE THE ULTIMATE ROLE MODEL
WHY PARENTS SOMETIMES MISS WARNING SIGNS
TROUBLING SIGNS YOU WANT TO NOTICE
HOW PROFESSIONALS CAN HELP
HELPING ADOLESCENTS SEEK HELP WITHOUT SHAME
DONT IGNORE YOUR OWN NEEDS
HAVING A CHALLENGING KID CAN BE A CHALLENGE
A FINAL THOUGHT
SOME FINAL STORIES
GO FOR IT
OTHER RESILIENCEBASED PARENTING BOOKS
STRESS AND THE MINDBODY CONNECTION
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
CHILD SAFETY
REACHING FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP
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About the author (2011)

Kenneth Ginsburg, M.D., M.S.Ed., is a pediatrician specializing in adolescent medicine at The Children's Hospital in Philadelphia and an expert on parenting teens. Regularly voted a "Top Doc" by Philadelphia magazine, he speaks across the country and lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two teenage daughters.

Susan Fitzgerald is an award-winning journalist. She lives outside Philadelphia.

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