Negotiating the Nonnegotiable: How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts

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Penguin, Apr 19, 2016 - Psychology - 352 pages
“One of the most important books of our modern era” –Amb. Jaime de Bourbon

For anyone struggling with conflict, this book can transform you. 
Negotiating the Nonnegotiable takes you on a journey into the heart and soul of conflict, providing unique insight into the emotional undercurrents that too often sweep us out to sea. With vivid stories of his closed-door sessions with warring political groups, disputing businesspeople, and families in crisis, Daniel Shapiro presents a universally applicable method to successfully navigate conflict.  A deep, provocative book to reflect on and wrestle with, this book can change your life.
 
Be warned: This book is not a quick fix. Real change takes work. You will learn how to master five emotional dynamics that can sabotage conflict outside your awareness:

1. Vertigo: How can you avoid getting emotionally consumed in conflict?
2. Repetition compulsion: How can you stop repeating the same conflicts again and again?
3. Taboos: How can you discuss sensitive issues at the heart of the conflict?
4. Assault on the sacred: What should you do if your values feel threatened?
5. Identity politics: What can you do if others use politics against you?

In our era of discontent, this is just the book we need to resolve conflict in our own lives and in the world around us.
 

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LibraryThing Review

User Review  - bostonian71 - LibraryThing

Important if challenging book on an essential topic. There's quite a bit of jargon, mostly in the form of acronyms, and various descriptions along the lines of "the four parts of X" and "three steps ... Read full review

Review: Negotiating the Nonnegotiable: How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts

User Review  - Goodreads

This book is v good. It gives you concrete, actionable advice that, if put into practice, will not fail to pay dividends down the road. Read it. Read full review

Contents

The Hidden Power of Identity
3
The Dual Nature of Identity
11
A Way Forward
23
The Five Lures of the Tribal Mind
29
Vertigo
31
Repetition Compulsion
50
Taboos
69
Assault on the Sacred
90
Work Through Emotional Pain
163
Build Crosscutting Connections
175
Reconfigure the Relationship
192
Managing Dialectics
207
Fostering the Spirit of Reconciliation
226
Appendices
235
Notes
241
Select Bibliography
296

Identity Politics
111
Integrative Dynamicsa FourStep Method
131
Uncover Your Mythos of Identity
139

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About the author (2016)

Daniel L. Shapiro is a world renowned expert on the psychology of conflict resolution. Named one of Harvard’s top 15 professors by The Harvard Crimson, he founded and directs the Harvard International Negotiation Program and regularly advises everyone from hostage negotiators to families in crisis, disputing CEOs to clashing heads of state.

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