I'd Rather Eat Chocolate: Learning to Love My Low Libido“If I had a choice between having sex and reading a good book, the book wins. I notice I put in the adjective 'good'—and that leaves me wondering if I'm not trying to put a better face on things. I still want people to read this and think, 'Well, of course. If it's a good book.' But my boyfriend—the man I would eventually marry—would take even bad sex over a good book.” --From I'd Rather Eat Chocolate Joan is hardly ever in the mood. Kip is always in the mood. Does that sound like any couple you know? Joan Sewell is a funny, brave new writer who dares to reveal that sex in her house does not look anything like the sex you see in movies. When she learns that her husband, Kip, would have sex five or six times a week if he could have as much sex as he wanted (compared to her once or twice a month), Joan decides she'd better pluck up her sex drive before she ends up on the fast track to divorce court. I'd Rather Eat Chocolate is the witty, provocative chronicle of her search for a lift to her libido and what happens when none of the expert advice works. First she tries sexy underwear—until her husband realizes she is cheating on her thongs by wearing cotton panties. Then she reads that for stressed-out wives, a husband who does housework is the ultimate aphrodisiac—until she realizes that she is actually the slob in the relationship and the mess hasn't decreased Kip's sex drive any. When she reads John Gray's advice to women to offer “quickies” if their husbands want sex and they are not in the mood, Joan realizes that this is the ultimate male trump card so she can never again say no to sex. Her fantasies begin to involve smothering John Gray with a pillow. Joan Sewell is scrappy, fearless, and hilarious, the “I Love Lucy” of low libido. Her memoir is laugh-out-loud funny. But it has a serious vein, too. How Joan and Kip work it out, and what they do when they “do it,” will give every woman hope that she can be true to herself and have a happy marriage. |
Contents
One HOW MUCH SEX DID YOU SAY? | 1 |
Three IM NOT IN THE MOOD | 12 |
Seven | 37 |
SPONTANEITY | 55 |
Eleven THINKING NAUGHTY THOUGHTS | 66 |
59 | 207 |
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Common terms and phrases
bedroom Berman boyfriend C'mon coffee couple cunnilingus DeAngelis Demi Moore desire Douglass Eat CHOCOLATE emotional enjoy face fantasies feel felt female feminism foreplay getting girl Girls Gone Wild give going grab Gray guilt hair hand happy hate head hormones husband ibid initiate sex JENNIFER keep kind Kip looked Kip's knew lap dance LAURA libido lingerie Lister magazine male marriage masturbate Maude mean Mo'nique Monogamy mood naughty thoughts never night Okay OPRAH oral sex orgasm Paris Hilton partner porn pornography pretty quickie raunch culture Redbook relationship SENSATE FOCUSING sensual sex act sex drive sexperts sexual sexy sounds spiritual stop sure talking tell testosterone therapist there's thing thong took trying turned Victoria's Secret walked want sex watching wearing week What's wife woman women wondered worry Yeah