The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities

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Greenery Press, 1997 - Psychology - 279 pages
7 Reviews
A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities Beyond the often unrealistic ideal of lifetime monogamy lies an uncharted jungle of delightful options - everything from committed multi-partner relationships to friendly sex, casual sex, group sex, and more. In this groundbreaking volume, 'Bottoming Book' and 'Topping Book' authors provide a road map for exploring this sometimes difficult, often rewarding territory. Warm, informative detials about how to get your needs met, manage your jealousy, make agreements that...

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Great Book

User Review  - justchelle - Overstock.com

I bought this book and read it in a weekend. It was great so I bought it for my best friend and her husband. They love it too. It includes wonderful real life experiences and advise for anyone wanting ... Read full review

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COMPLAINT FILED
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Complaint is based on her one-on-one counseling of the principles outlined in this book.
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Earlier this year, I filed a complaint against Dossie Easton to the California Board of Behavioral Sciences for unethical behavior.
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I knew the filed complaint could not produce anything other than a closer eye Dossie Easton (due to the inherent inability to prove that a person said one thing or another), and I even stated so in the complaint. I reported it anyway to give the board reason to keep a closer eye on her. In an effort to keep a stronger eye on her in public, I bring the nature of the filed complaint here.
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I dated a fellow who was a client of Dossie Easton. This man is a devoted follower of Dossie Easton's teachings on open promiscuity and noncommital sex. I'm a virgin and according to this man, Dossie was "tickled" with the idea of having one of her followers penetrate a virgin, and she coached him into how he could capture that first sex experience with my body. He told me that Dossie had scolded him because he had suggested that he should be making decisions to refrain from doing things he *knew* would hurt me. She scoldingly instructed him, instead, that all active decisions were to be made by me, and for him to make any sort of active decision to honor my boundaries would weaken me, and it would be a chauvinistic move on his part to be a "white knight" (for doing nothing more than honoring my boundaries). He said that Dossie would playfully yell at him, in their counselling sessions, "DON'T YOU DISEMPOWER HER!" if he were to dare to suggest that he should honor my boundaries. I was confused as to why she cared, and also why she had not bothered to consult me, at all. I countered Dossie's interjections into our relationship by telling him I had boundaries that he must honor. By Dossie's teachings, he would constantly offer me one-liners of his former sex events, knowing it was hurtful to me, and he would give me an exaggerated look of sympathy, ask me how it made me feel and offer a listening ear, followed up with "that's understandable" and instructions for me to be stronger so that his hurtful behavior would not hurt me. I have come to understand that Dossie's book, "How to be an Ethical Slut", encourages the reader on how to secure sex acts while giving others space to emotionally bleed from what you just did to them, and the option to walk away from the hurtful behavior if they need to. Much of the mistreatment I received was based on the principles I was told that she promotes in this book. In the end I came to realize that Dossie's commands and coachings continued after I countered her interjections. I never trusted this man fully and we never had sex, and he angrily scolded me for having "rigid boundaries to physical intimacy" because I didn't give him what Dossie told him he could eventually have from me. The result of Dossie's manipulation and control of her client has been deep emotional pain that at one point became constant suicidal ideation and self-destructive behaviors. Dossie was behaving outside of her scope, and sexually exploiting me, when she encouraged her client to silently ignore my boundaries in an effort to attain sex. The only motives I can see are that Dossie really seems to want to be seen as a leader in the modern movement of open promiscuity. One problem with this is that when a "leader" instructs, they also absorb some of the accountability of their followers, and this often results in the followers doing more damage than they otherwise would have done if they thought they had full accountability.
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Further, licensed therapists have a great deal of potential control and authority over her clients, and it is inappropriate for an MFT to tell their clients what they must think and how they must behave, and inappropriate for them to coach their clients into silently and stealthfully trying to seduce an otherwise unwilling person. That is not what a
 

Contents

CHAPTER 1 WHO IS AN ETHICAL SLUT?
3
CHAPTER 2 VALUES AND ETHICS
19
CHAPTER 3 PARADIGMS OLD AND NEW
25
Copyright

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About the author (1997)

Dossie Easton photoDossie Easton, a San Francisco therapist, has been an active sex radical since 1961. While she is a well-known bottom, Dossie also tops, and has taught dozens of classes on S/M techniques, skills and philosophy. She was one of the first members of the Society of Janus in San Francisco, and has been a leader in the emerging area of S/M practice that links S/M and spirituality.

Dossie Easton photoDossie Easton, a San Francisco therapist, has been an active sex radical since 1961. While she is a well-known bottom, Dossie also tops, and has taught dozens of classes on S/M techniques, skills and philosophy. She was one of the first members of the Society of Janus in San Francisco, and has been a leader in the emerging area of S/M practice that links S/M and spirituality.

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