Camping Out

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Rajat Mukherjee
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Rajat,
Firstly, you need to get the placing of your punctuations right. NO space before an ! or a ? (or a !!). Not only is the space not required, but sometimes the punctuation move to the next
line because of this. This is disconcerting, to say the least. If I didn't know you, I'd have dropped the book after seeing the first 2-3 of these boo-boos. Basics, basics.
But I persisted and read the first story - Camping Out. Honestly, what you said could have been said in about half a page. The rest was what you wanted recorded for posterity, maybe, because Sandeep was known to you. But the story is for the reader, not the author.
Lastly, you need to revisit and polish things. It kind of stands out that you have not done that. It does not appear that you have tried to read your own story. LIke Gulzar said: "Kitne kum logon ko yeh baat samajh may aati hai ki dhun ban lene se hee gaana nahin ban jataa. Apne lafzon say usay nourish karna padta hai - uski parvarish karnee padthi hai. Ghanton aur pahron nahin, kayee dinon tak gaate rahna padta hai ... Tab jaakar uskee chamak nikal atee hai" (You can hear him say it in the album Pancham: Gulzar remembers RD).
- Vasan
 

User Review - Flag as inappropriate

Cool stuff buddy. Keep going.

Contents

1 Camping Out
9
2 Metamorphosis
21
3 The Tiger
37
4 The Wife
43
5 The Turning Tides
57
6 The Five Rupees
85
7 Incident at Nob Hill
93
8 Grandpas Shotgun
99
9 Homeward Bound
113
10 Katpadi Junction
119
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