Compassion and Self Hate: An Alternative to Despair

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Simon and Schuster, Apr 28, 1998 - Psychology - 288 pages
3 Reviews
Free yourself from destructive behavior and learn how to break your patterns of self-hate and achieve personal fulfillment with this sympathetic and practical guide from the author of The Angry Book.

Many of us know that self-destructive patterns are rooted in self-dislike, but few of us understand how to break them. In this wise and compassionate book, bestselling author and eminent psychiatrist Theodore Rubin shows us realistic ways to break these negative mental and emotional attitudes and build a strong sense of well-being and self-understanding.

Dr. Rubin looks of how self-hate begins, is sustained, and eventually leads to destructive and defeating behavior—from alcoholism and drug dependency to perfectionism and fear of failure (or success). Offering practical and reassuring advice, he shows that the key to freeing yourself from these restricting emotions and habits is to find and examine the self-hate that generates them, and then to release your innate and powerful capacity for compassion.

This warm, sympathetic, and ultimately practical guide to personal growth and fulfillment is timelier and more helpful than ever.

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User Review  - worldeyes - Borders

If you are searching for a way to understand yourself, your problems and difficulties, depression, etc. and have no one to talk to, and are reluctant to seek a therapist or counselor, this book is for ... Read full review

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I got this book 9 months ago and it has absolutely helped me. I read it cover to cover right away, then 6 or 7 more times reading 10 pages a day. One time through I read it out aloud [10 pages a day], letting my speech wander off the text as ideas occured to me while reading. I still go back to it now and then.
I've read 2 flippant reviews about the book on the web. Maybe the reviewers don't need this book, or maybe they missed the boat and the chance to help themselves.
I must say there were bad, and I mean bad, as in catastrophic, habits and atitudes I had that I at times despaired of ever freeing myself from, even after commiting to use the methods of this great jewel of a book. It don't come easy and it don't come in one day. But as the book says very clearly, every effort, though it may end in failure, is a victory, and every victory leads to another.
Now you know how long it takes, 9 months in my case.
I'll say one more thing. There may be things you are doing, dear reader, that you don't know are self hate and/or you don't know you can do anything about. The book may open your eyes. One of the great works of all time, in my opinion.


Acknowledgments 10
How SelfHate Begins 25
Compassion in Process 133
Generating Compassion 137
Compassionate Psychophilosophy 169
Helping to Prevent SelfDestruction 204
Joy 274

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About the author (1998)

Theodore Isaac Rubin, M.D., has served as president of the American Institute of Psychoanalysis and is the author of thirty books, including The Angry Book, Lisa and David, Jordi, The Winner's Notebook, and Lisa and David Today. His books have been translated all over the world. He lives and practices psychiatry in New York City.

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