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"Come, Harry", said Tom, "I will take the paines for this once to goe up to her."

"By my faith, but you shall not", said the fellow. "And therefore keepe you backe, for you come not in here."

Tom Drum, seeing himselfe thus disgrac'd before his fellow Harry, being very angry') askt if this were the best entertainment that they could affoord their mistresse's friends. And therewithall began to struggle with them. Which their mistresse hearing, started from the table and suddenly came to see what the matter was. Who being certified of Tom Drum's sawcinesse began thus sharpely to check him:

"Why, fellow", quoth she, "art thou mad that thus uncivilly thou behavest thyself? What hast thou to say to me that thou art thus importunate?"

"No hurt", quoth he, "but that this gentleman and I would have bestowed a galland of wine to have had three or foure houres talke with you."

"I tell thee", said she, "I am not now at leasure, and therefore, good honesty, trouble me no more. Neither is it my wont to be won with wine at any time."

"God's Lord", quoth he, "are you grown so coy? If you and I were alone I know I should finde you more milde. What, must no man but Doctor Burket cast your water? Is his phisicke in most request? Well, I meane to be better entertained ere I goe, for there is never a Flemming2) of them all shall outface me, by the morrow masse I sweare."

Mistris Farmar, seeing him so furious, answered he should have present entertainment according to his desert. Whereupon she made no more to doe, but quietly went to her servants and willed them to thrust him out by the head and shoulders. Which presently they performed. But Harry was by her very modestly answered that if he

1) P Harry (being very angry) askt -
2) Felmming.

had occasion of any speech with her, the next day he should come and be patiently heard and gently answered.

With which words, after she had drunke to him in a gobblet of claret wine, he departed, and, going home, he told Tom Drum he was highly beholding to him for his curtesie in preferring his sute to Mistris Farmer. "Surely", quoth hee, "you are in very high favour with the faire woman, and so it seemed by your great entertainment. I pray thee, Tom, tell me, how tasted the meat which she set on thy trencher with her silver forke? And what secret was that shee told in thy eare? Trust me, thou art precious in her eies, for she was as glad to see thee as one had given her a rush; for when after many hot wordes she heard thee draw thy breath so short, she for very pitty tumbled thee out into the street to take more ayre."

"Well", quoth Tom, "floute on - but I am well enough served. I'le lay my life, had I not brought thee with me never a man should have had more welcome then I. And now I consider with myselfe that it did anger her to the heart when she saw I was purposed to make another copartner of her presence. But it shall teach me wit while I live, for I remember an old saying: love and lordship brookes no fellowship."

But when this matter was made known to the rest of the jorneymen, Tom Drum's entertainment was spoke of in every place; insomuch that it is to this day a proverb amongst us that, where it is supposed a man shall not be welcomed, they will say he is like to have Tom Drum's entertainment.') And to avoid the flouts that were daily given him, poore Tom Drum forsooke Fleet Street, and at last went into Scotland being prest for a drummer at Muskelbrough Field, where the noble Duke of Sommerset

1) Compare with this definition the passages cited in Murray's Dictionary; and the practical joke played upon Jack Drum in the by-plot of Jack Drum's Entertainment. Simpson, vol. II.

and the Earle of Warwick were sent with a noble army.') Where Englishmen and Scots meeting, there was fought a cruell battle, the victory whereof fell to the Englishmen. At what time there was slaine of the Scots to the number of fourteene thousand, and fifteene hundred taken prisoners.2) Where we will leave Tom Drum till his returne, making mention how Harry Nevell behaved himselfe in the meane space in London.

Chap. V.

How Harry Nevell wooed Mistris Farmer and deceived Doctor Burket; and how they were both beguiled by a prentice that dwelt in the house who in the end mar

ried her.

Mistris Farmer, fiering the hearts of many with her beauty, was wondrously wooed by Doctor Burket; who would give unto her divers rich gifts, the which, though they were faire and costly, yet Mistris Farmer would hardly accept them, but even what he in a manner by perforce constrained her to take, least by his cunning he should insert therein some matter more then ordinary, that might moove any motion of love contrary to her natural inclination. Upon a time Harry Nevell comming thether and finding the doctor very diligent to breed the widdow's content, whereby he greatly hindred his proceedings, cast in his mind how he might disburden the house of the doctor and get opportunity to prefer his owne sute. At last lighting on a device fit for the purpose, in this sort he delt with the doctor:

1) P punctuates:

field, where . army where, Englishmen I meeting, there

2) This battle took place in 1546. "And at this battail called Musklebrough field . . . there were slaine, as some of the Scots themselves confessed, 14thousand Scottes ... and there were taken prisoners of the Scottes 15 hundred -" Grafton's Chronicle.

There was an Egyptian woman that at Blackwall was in travel with child and had such hard labour that she was much lamented among all the wives that dwelt thereabout. Harry Nevell, comming that way and hearing thereof, thought it a fit matter to imploy Doctor Burket about, while in the meane space he might the better bewray his affection to the widdow. Whereupon he sent one to him attyred like a serving-man, booted and spurd, who, comming to the widdow's house all in a sweate, laid load on the doore demanding for Master Doctor.

"What would you with him?" quoth one of the maids. "Marry", quoth he, "my Lady Sunborne hath sent for him in all post-hast, and therefore I pray you let me speake with him.”

"I will presently doe your errand", said the maid. Whereupon running up she told him that my Lady Sunborne hath sent a messenger in very great hast to speake with him. Doctor Burket, hearing that and being well acquainted with the Lady Swinborne 1), took leave of the widdow and went to the messenger, saying: "How now, good fellow, what would my good lady have with me?"

"Sir", said the messenger, "she would desire you if ever you did tender the life of a lady to make no delay but presently to put yourselfe a-horseback and come to her, for she is wondrous sick."

"I am sory for that", said the doctor; "and surely I will make all speed possible to come to her." Whereupon the doctor tooke horse and immediatly went with the serving-man.

Harry, hearing of his departure, came to the widdow with a smiling countenance and thus merily began to wooe her: "Now, Mistris Farmer, happy it is that a yong man once in a moneth may find a moment of time to talk with you. Truth it is that your good graces have

1) Doctor Burket misunderstands the name, tended he should.

Palaestra XVIII.

as Nevell in

13

greatly bound me in affection to you, so that onely above all the women in the world I have setled my delight in your love. And if it shall please you to requite my good will with the like kindnesse, I shall account my birthday blessed and remaine your faithfull friend forever."

"Gentle man", quoth she, "for your good will I thank you, but I would have you understand that the lesse you love me the better I shall like you, for your delights and mine are not alike. I have setled my fancy on a single life, being a widdow unmeete to marry and unapt to love. Once, indeed, I had learned that lesson; but my scholemaster being untimely dead that taught me, I grew forgetfull of all those principles, and then I swore never to follow that study more. Wherefore, if you will become a faithfull friend to me, let me be assured thereof by this, that from henceforth you will not any more trouble me with this matter; and thereby you shall bind me to think the better of you while I know you. And doe not think I speak this of any affection proceeding from myself to any other, or for the desire of any benefit proferred by any other to me.”

"Faire mistris", quoth Harry, "I know it is the custome of women to make their denials unto their lovers, and strictly to stand on nice points, because they will not be accounted easily won or soone entreated. Alack, deere dame, consider Nature did not adorne your face with such incomparable beauty and framed every other part so full of excellency, to wound men with woe, but to worke their content. Wherefore now in the April of your yeares and the sweet summer of your dayes, banish not the pleasures incident to bright beauty; but honour London streets with the faire fruite of your womb, and make me blessed by being father to the issue of your delicate body. And though your beauty as the spring doth yet yearely grow, yet in the black winter of old age it will not be so; and we see by daily experience that flowers not gathered in time rot and consume them

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