was glad and ready to do the Duchman any injury, consented to follow Nicholas his counsell in anything.

"Then", quoth Nicholas, "it shall be thus: I will go to the garden and stay for Haunce his coming with the wine and, in the meane space, do thou hide thyselfe under one of the hedges of the garden on the other side, and with thee take a couple of pots, and let the one be empty and the other filled with water, and when Haunce is come into the garden with his bottle of wine, now, he will not let me see it by his good will; notwithstanding, I'le observe well where he doth set it down, and then I will finde the meanes, while they are busie in toying and talking, to conveigh the bottle of wine through the hedge to thee, and likewise the venison. Then, emptying the bottle, thou shalt fill it with water and, thrusting it through the hedge again, it shall be set where first it was found; which being done, thou shalt hastily rap at the garden doore, at what time they shall be told that it is my master or mistresse; which they hearing will be in such a maze that on a sudden they will not know which way to turn themselves, especially for the conveying away of Haunce. Now, when you have knockt twice or thrice and that you heare nobody come to the doore, get you away, and stay for me at the Rose in Barking, and there we will drink up their wine, eat up the venison, and this being done, wee'le laugh them to scorn."

"Truly, Nicholas," quoth John the Frenchman, "this will be brave." And thereupon they prepared themselves to do the feat. Nicholas therefore got him into the garden, and by and by after comes Haunce with the bottle of wine, who knocking at the garden doore was straight let in; but seeing Nicholas there, he secretly set his bottle in a corner. But Nick, who had as searching eyes as Argus in his businesse, quickly did as before he had determined, and instead of wine set the bottle down again where he first found it, full of water.

Then comes John and lustily knocks at the doore.

"There is our master and mistresse," quoth Nicholas. "Alas," quoth Florence, "what shall we do for Haunce?" Then rapt he at the doore again. "Alas," quoth she, "get you over the hedge!" "Shall I open the doore?" quoth Nick. "O no," said Florence, "not yet, good Nick." With that he knockt more hastily. "Anon, anon," quoth he. "Hence Haunce1)! Go to the doore, Nick!"

"Who is there?" quoth he, and with that opening the doore, found just nobody. "Truly, Florence," said he, "they are gone whosoever they were. — God be with you,

I can stay no longer!"

When he was departed, the maids wished that Haunce had been there again. "Alas, poore fellow," quoth they, "is he gone, and left his bottle behind him?"

"Marry, I am glad that it is no worse," quoth Florence. "And now that the wine is here, we will drink it for his sake, and I have here a morsell of venison that will give it a good relish." And therewithall looking for it, she found the cloak, but the meat gone. "Now, a vengeance one it," quoth she, "one skurvie cur or other hath got into the garden and took away the meat!"

"O God, what ill luck is that!" quoth the maide. "A murren on that cur that got it! But seeing it is gone, ong farewell it.

"Well," said Florence, "here is the wine yet. I know it is excellent good, for he told me he would bring a bottle of the best Renish wine that could be bought in London, and I am certain he is as good as his word. But beleeve me, Joane, he is as kind-hearted and as loving a fellow as ever professed love to any. I assure you that here is a cup of wine that the king might drink thereof. But how shall we do for a glasse?"

"Wee'le drink it out of the bottle," said Joane.

"Not so," quoth Florence. "I do love to see what I drink, and therefore I'le borrow a glasse at the next house." 1) All of the quartos (S, T, R) omit 'quoth she'; and all have 'quoth he' after 'anon'.

And while she goes for a glasse, said Joane to herselfe: "I'le have a taste of it before she returns again." And then setting her hand unto the bottle and the bottle to her mouth, she drank a good draught, and finding it to be something thin in the going down, she said to Besse that sat by: "Credit. me now, but for the name of wine, I have drunk as good water."

"It is Renish wine," quoth Besse, "and that is never strong."

"It may be made of rain well enough," quoth Joane. "At which words Florence entred with a glas. And powring it out into the glasse, she extolled the colour, saying: "See what a brave colour it hath! It is as clear, I do assure you, as rock water." And therewithall drinking it off, she said: "It drinks very dead. Of a troth," quoth she, "this is but bad wine; it is even as dead as a doore naile." And so filling the glasse again, she gave it unto Besse.

She, tasting thereof, said: "Passion of me, this is plain water!"

"Water?" said Joane. "Is it water? Let me taste of it once again. By my maidenhead, it is water indeed," quoth she.

"Water!" said Florence. "You have played the drabs in drinking out the wine and filling the bottle again with water."

"Of my faith," quoth Joane, "you say not true in so saying. I would you did understand we played not the drabs in any such sort, but Haunce rather played the knave, that brought us water instead of wine."

"Nay," quoth Florence, "I dare swear for him that he would not serve you so for all the wealth my master is worth. And I am perswaded it was nobody but yourselves that did it. But, in faith, you might have dealt so with another and not with me."

"Nay, then," quoth they, "you need not to serve us so, to cause us drink water instead of wine; and we would

you should think, although you be Master Sheriffe's maid, we love our mouths as well as you do yours, for your life; and it was but an homely recompence for our good will, I tell you true. Neither do we care how little we come to be thus deluded."

"Go too, go too," said Florence, "you are like to Penelope's puppy, that doth both bite and whine; I know you well enough."

"Know us?" quoth Joane. "What do you know by us? We defie you for anything you can say by us. 'Know us?' Nay, it were well if thou didst know thyselfe. And hearest thou? - though thou hast thy companions to meet thee at thy pleasure, and we have not, no, 'know us1)?' We are known to be as honest as thou art, or else we should be sorry." And so she departed in a chafe.

Now, John the Frenchman and Nicholas, having eaten the venison and drunk up the wine, came back again time2) enough to hear all this strife, whereat they greatly rejoyced. But so soon as Florence did meet with Haunce again, she kept no small stir for mocking her with a bottle of water, about the which they fell at variance in such sort that they were not friends for a long time after.

But during the time that Haunce was out of favour, Nicholas sought the maid's frendship by all the means he might, but in vain was his pains spent therein; for, although Florence outwardly seemed much displeased, yet Haunce had her heart still, and in processe of time obtained great favour. The matter was grown so foreward that the performance of their marriage was forthwith appointed; which they intended should be celebrated at the Abbey of Grace on Tower Hill. Notwithstanding, this matter was not kept so close but that their secret dealings were known, and Nicholas, purposing to deceive the Duchman, made John the Frenchman privie thereunto, saying: "John, it

1) S, T, R punctuate: thou? though thou... not: no, know us? 2) So also T and R.

is so that this night, at midnight masse, Florence and Haunce do intend secretly to be married, and they have appointed the frier to do it so soon as the tapers are all put out, because they will not be seen of any. Therefore, John, if now you will be my friend, I do not doubt but to marry her myselfe, and so to give the Duchman the slampam and bore him through the nose with a cushin')."

"Ha," quoth John, "be Got, me shall do as you sea, and therefore, Nicholas, tell me what you do."

"Marry, John," quoth he, "you know the Duchman loveth to drink well, and by that he loveth wee'le cause him to lose his love; for we will get him out to the tavern and there cause him to be disguised that he shall neither be able to stand nor go2)."

John the Frenchman hearing this, scratching his head and rubbing his elbow, said: "Ma foy, Nicholas, dis be de fine trick! How shall we get him forth a doores?"

"Excellent well," quoth Nicholas, "for there is a new journeyman come to town with Sir Hugh's bones at his back, and you know that we, being of the Gentle Craft, must go give him his welcome and I will tell Haunce thereof, who being now very jocund by reason that his marriage is so neer, will not deny to come, I know. Therefore you and the stranger journeyman shall go before to the tavern, and then I will go fetch him."

"A beene, content, content", said John.

And so to the tavern he hasted with the strange man. Anon comes Nicholas and Haunce, and with them, two or three journeymen more, and all to the new journeyman. Sitting down, they got Haunce in the midst, called for wine lustily, and such varieties, as the Duchman was soon set packing; for every one sought to overcharge him

1) T and R cushion.

2) In S the sentence continues: 'and while he lies parbreaking his minde', and then breaks off at the bottom of the page. The next page begins: 'hearing this, scratching his head etc.' T and R have the reading given here: -go. John the Frenchman etc.'