The Twelve ChairsOstap Bender is an unemployed con artist living by his wits in postrevolutionary Soviet Russia. He joins forces with Ippolit Matveyevich Vorobyaninov, a former nobleman who has returned to his hometown to find a cache of missing jewels which were hidden in some chairs that have been appropriated by the Soviet authorities. The search for the bejeweled chairs takes these unlikely heroes from the provinces to Moscow to the wilds of Soviet Georgia and the Trans-caucasus mountains; on their quest they encounter a wide variety of characters: from opportunistic Soviet bureaucrats to aging survivors of the prerevolutionary propertied classes, each one more selfish, venal, and ineffective than the one before. |
Contents
Bezenchuk and the Nymphs | 3 |
The Demise of Madam Petukhova | 13 |
The Parable of the Sinner | 22 |
The Muse of Travel | 29 |
The Smooth Operator | 34 |
The Diamond Haze | 43 |
Traces of the Titanic | 50 |
The Bashful Chiseler | 55 |
Ellochka the Cannibal | 205 |
Absalom Vladimirovich Iznurenkov | 215 |
The Automobile Club | 227 |
Conversation with a Naked Engineer | 236 |
Two Visits | 244 |
The Marvelous Workhouse Basket | 251 |
The Hen and the Pacific Rooster | 261 |
The Author of the Gavriliad | 271 |
Where Are Your Curls? | 67 |
The Mechanic the Parrot and the Fortuneteller | 75 |
The Mirror of Life Index | 87 |
A Passionate Woman Is a Poets Dream | 100 |
Breathe Deeper Youre Excited | 108 |
The Alliance of the Sword and Plowshare | 125 |
A Sea of Chairs | 141 |
The Brother Berthold Schwartz Hostel | 144 |
Have Respect for Mattresses Citizens | 151 |
The Furniture Museum | 158 |
Voting the European Way | 168 |
From Seville to Granada | 179 |
Punishment | 192 |
In the Columbus Theater | 279 |
A Magic Night on the Volga | 295 |
The Shady Couple | 305 |
Expulsion from Paradise | 313 |
The Interplanetary Chess Tournament | 320 |
Et Alia | 337 |
A View of the Malachite Puddle | 342 |
The Green Cape | 352 |
Under the Clouds | 362 |
The Earthquake | 371 |
The Treasure | 385 |
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Common terms and phrases
Alchen asked Ostap auction Batumi began Bezenchuk boots chair Charushnikov chess citizens Claudia Ivanovna club Columbus Theater Comrade Bender concessionaires corridor cried door Dyadyev Elena Stanislavovna Ellochka engineer Ernest Pavlovich everything eyes face Father Fyodor felt friends furniture Gavrila Gavrilin girl give Gritsatsuyeva Grossmeister Hambs hand head hundred Ilf and Petrov Ippolit Mat Ippolit Matveye Ippolit Matveyevich Iznurenkov janitor Kisa Kislarsky Knights Chess kopeks Korobeinikov Lapis legs Listen Little Golden Calf Liza looked marshal mattress Moscow moved Musik mustache Nicky night Ostap Bender Pasha Persidsky pince-nez Polesov Pushkin Street Pyatigorsk roubles Scriabin shouted sitting smooth operator Soviet Stargorod stood stopped street railway streetcar suddenly tell There's thing Tiflis took town Treukhov turned Twelve Chairs Vasyuki veyevich vich Victor Mikhailovich Vladya voice Vorobyaninov wait walked What's whispered wife window words young