Lemon Moms: a Guide to Understand and Survive Maternal Narcissism

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Diane Metcalf, Aug 10, 2020 - Self-Help

Are you confused or hurt by your mother?

Is your relationship less than satisfying, or even hurtful? Are you afraid of, or intimidated by her? If so, you can learn how to heal the emotional pain and take back your personal power. Let author Diane Metcalf, survivor of narcissistic abuse syndrome, show you how.


Me too

For as long as I can remember, there was something “different” about my mother. She wasn’t like other mothers.

By the time I was in middle school, I’d met a lot of moms, and I’d witnessed their interactions with their kids. My mom didn’t act like them; she didn’t relate to me the way they did with their kids. She didn’t hug or kiss me. She didn’t smile at, spend time with, or play with me. She didn’t seem happy to see me. She didn’t ask about my school day, and she wasn’t interested in knowing my friends. She seemed to have no interest in me or anything that I did.


No boundaries, name-calling, invalidation, neglect

I stayed up as late as I wanted. I was expected to care for my younger siblings, and was blamed and sometimes punished for their misbehavior.

I was not allowed to openly express feelings, ask questions, or show initiative or curiosity. My feelings were discounted, minimized or invalidated. Asking questions or taking action meant I was challenging mother, and that was not tolerated. She re-wrote my memories and I was expected to believe her version. I was to obey, stay quiet and not question.

My mom called me hurtful names and obscenities, and at times she ignored me, not speaking to me for days, weeks, even months at a time.

I call these kinds of mothers "lemon moms." They parent mainly by manipulating, guilting, shaming, blaming, humiliating and/or belittling. They lack the ability to properly bond with and emotionally nurture their children. The children grow up feeling “not good enough,” unloved, misunderstood, unimportant, and like they don't really matter.

In dysfunctional families, there’s an unspoken rule: don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel. As an adult, I was done living by those rules. I started an ongoing journey to find healing and peace.

If any part of this sounds familiar, you are not alone. If there’s a pattern of manipulation, power struggles, or cruelty in your relationship, this book can help. If you find yourself second-guessing your memory, doubting your judgment or sanity, or you’re continually seeking your mother’s withheld affection, attention, or approval, this book can explain why.


Your mother doesn’t need a formal “diagnosis” for you to determine that your relationship is unhealthy. If it is, you can do something about it.

Until now, you had two choices: live on her terms (focusing on her, chasing after her withheld love and acceptance) or go “no contact.” I suggest that you have a third option: allow me to walk with you through the chaos and confusion that is maternal narcissism. I’ll show you how to decode the crazy-making behavior, heal the damage, and take back your personal power.

You’ll learn how to:

identify complex trauma symptoms

stop the gas lighting

heal symptoms of complex ptsd

remove drama

set enforceable boundaries

identify and shut down manipulation

plan conversations that flow the way you want

use the end-of-chapter "Action Steps" to gain insight and begin healing (or use the Lemon Moms Companion Workbook)

heal cognitive dissonance, and more!

What’s stopping you from beginning your healing journey? Take back your life! BUY THIS BOOK TODAY!

 

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Contents

INTRODUCTION
17
NARCISSISM AWARENESS GRIEF
66
GOT LEMONS?
107
THE NARCISSISTIC ABUSE CYCLE
115
NARCISSISTIC LYING
126
SHAME
137
Emotional Food
146
SLAMMING AND BANGING
160
The Three Stages Of Codependency
187
Takeaways
195
ADDRESSING PTSD and CPTSD
209
MAKE LEMONADE
221
IDENTIFYING DANGEROUS
231
YOU GOTTA FEEL IT TO HEAL
236
WHAT NOW?
246
A NEW BEGINNING
269

SIGNIFICANT CAUSE OF CPTSD 168 Sowing Seeds Of Doubt
169
Gaslightings Ugly Cousin
175
Takeaways
181
Glossary of Terms
277
Whats
305
Copyright

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About the author (2020)

As a result of growing up in a dysfunctional home, and with the help of professional therapists and continued personal growth, Diane has developed strong coping skills and healing strategies. She happily shares those insights with others who want to learn and recover. Currently, she lives in Nevada with her husband Kim and her adorable pets Abby and Simba.

Diane is an experienced advocate, speaker, and writer on domestic violence, abuse, and family dysfunction. Currently, she writes about toxic relationships and recovery tools on her blog, ‘The Toolbox” (https://toolbox.dianemetcalf.com). Diane holds a Bachelor of Arts in psychology and has worked in numerous fields, including domestic violence and abuse.