(3.5 Stars)

This is a good book with a lot of good information. ( )

I think this book is a must read for any white person willing to change, willing to learn, or willing to listen. For me, it better defined what racism is so I know what to listen to and how to listen. This isn't a book dedicated to racism though, it's all about white people. It defines our "fragility", teaches us to actually think about race, and even gives some skills and tips on how to listen.

I've heard the argument that white people shouldn't learn about racism from white people. I think those people haven't read this book. This is about the white role in racism and how to disrupt that.

Trust me, start here, then continue your education with the thousands of other books, blogs, podcasts, videos, etc. But never stop learning, never stop trying to make this world a better place. ( )

There is a lot of good information in this book for white people when dealing with racial issues and people of other races. There were quite a few ideas & words that I was unfamiliar with (white frame, habitus, etc), which I felt could have been better explained. The author has a rambling style and at times seems to beat around the bush. She really shines when she uses concrete examples to illustrate the concepts she is trying to get across. ( )

This is a really good book. I think there are some folks who are critical of it, but I think it's an important one. It's a white woman talking to other white people, which is the most important aspect. Members of the majority of any social identity group (categories based on gender, race, national origin, etc.)--especially those ones who really actually need to understand and internalize what's being presented--are most likely to listen to those with whom they share that characteristic. (In this case, a white person is more likely to listen to a white person about race.)

It's a relatively short book but it is dense in content. It's not a book that you have to read straight though from chapter one to the end, so it's nice to be able to skip around. I have lots of underlines and highlights because some of the stuff she talks about feel like she took it directly from my own life, so I think it's relatable to non-white people too.

Are there other books out there that talk about this subject matter better? Perhaps. But this book was never intended to be the only one read on the subject. I think it's a great primer for people of any race who want to understand racism in the current era, how racism didn't disappear when LBJ signed a piece of paper, and how the social constructs in which we live (laws, policies, traditions) serve to further racism in our current society. (And replace "racism" in that prior sentence, and you can see how social constructs impact other identity groups as well.) I really hope some folks will read this in the spirit in which it is written--to educate, provide prospective, and to be a gentle, non-accusatory introduction to race and racism in the present day--and have some strong takeaways. Few people are trying to blame someone living in 2024 on the acts of their g-g-g-g-grandparent from 1850, but we need to recognize how the society that was built then impacts our current structures, and rebuild them.

It's very enlightening. It has opened my eyes to a new view of white privilege and my unknowing racism. ( )

I won my copy of this book free through a Goodreads giveaway.
My cats always seem entertained when I read a book like this because I tend to debate the book outloud as I read. If only I got in the habit of taking notes on paper about my criticisms! But, thankfully, this was not a book I was critiquing for a class. That said, I found this book less than convincing, and its brash, arrogant tone seems calculated for shock value rather than for actual convincing, persuasive argument.
DiAngelo does a decent job of explaining that 'white fragility' exists, and that it is a problem. She seems to have reasonable experience to back up her claims, too, with all her anecdotes about racism workshops and presentations she has led. So, as unconvincing as her book was, I did not come away from this book thinking DiAngelo was wrong. I had some issues with her obsession with Black/White racism, but that is a problem I have with a lot of literature on racism by people outside my region; here our 'big' racism issue is to do with Hispanic/White tensions and legal/illegal immigrants versus citizens born in the US. So, I felt like I was reading a book about a foreign culture, not a book geared towards all of the US, yet this book asserts that it is equally salient everywhere in the US.
I also had issues with this book as a person with Aspergers, which I thought was interesting not as criticism of DiAngelo so much as an observation on how neurotypical-dominant our culture is. I found it interesting to see how DiAngelo says most people think about race and racism, because that too felt foreign, I suspect because she was describing how neurotypical people think about other people.
So, for readers in areas where the dominant race issues are on Black/White lines and especially for readers who are neurotypical, not Aspies/high-functioning autistics, this might be a far more convincing book. It may still be frustrating, since it focuses so much on bludgeoning its readers with the existence of white fragility, while offering very few concrete, useful solutions for dealing with racism. But for the right audience this book might be helpful to at least start some beneficial discussions. ( )

I still have so much to learn, but this book was so informative. ( )

This is a such an important book that most people really need to read. I borrowed it from the library but I am most likely going to buy my own copy at some point. ( )

This book is definitely insightful, and I have to insist that if white people are able to read it, that they do so, no matter how progressive you think you are, if not to solidify what you already know to be true. It's important that us as white people understand that you literally cannot be free of racism because racism is systemic. Break the cycle and learn about injustice in your social life that you may be blind to and how to call it out, and most importantly, how to call yourself out. ( )

Eye opening. Humbling. ( )

This is an extremely strong, powerful, and needed book. Its going to get overlooked, and bashed, and hated on by many, especially people of a certain type, voting a certain person into office, ...that type. You know the type, and you know who I mean.

The people you see in Facebook comments who go: "I don't see color." Or the people who say things like: "Its hard being white today! Everyone is calling us out! Its so hard to be us!" .....Those people. And especially THOSE people who voted for Trump; they are the ones who most need to read this. Sadly, I'm sure they are the ones who never will. Its almost like a racism form of Dunning-Krueger. "I have a black friend. I can't be racist." No. You don't have a black friend. You have a black co-worker who has gone out for drinks with you two times, and probably deeply resented that one comment you made a long ass time ago that you didn't even realize you made because you were on Mad Elf #4 and didn't even realize your own inherent racism or racist standards or prejudices or stereotyping.

The people who say, "Its more about class than race" now adays. They need to read this. The people who don't understand, or are unwilling to understand. They need to read this.

Yes. Obvious fact incoming: Racism is bad. Obvious statement is obvious. Lynching a black man is racist. Nobody is equating you (you = white person) with lynching a black man. But there are other, small, unnoticeable (to white people; not to those of color) things that you do, or even accept, that is racist. Being white is not good or bad. Being racist is bad; but unknowingly doing racist things doesn't make you bad or good. It just makes you unknowing, and ignorant.

We are all guilty of ignorance, all creeds, all colors, all spectrums. I'm ignorant of how my car runs. I'm ignorant of how many of the ways in which our own world operates. Sadly I don't know enough about Canadian or British politics. How does the Queen of England even work?! BUT.... I also know, I am ignorant of what exactly it is like to be a black man. I am not a black man. I will never be a black man. I will not understand fully what it means to be a black man.

That, is why, we all, white especially; need to listen. Stop saying auto-reply - #AllLivesMatter in response to #BlackLivesMatter. Stop saying "One bad cop doesn't mean their all bad." These are stupid, generic statements that we all understand. Yes, all lives do matter. But, read the room, understand things, have some level of empathy. KNOW before speaking sometimes. KNOW you are ignorant. KNOW your statement sounds stupid, is off-putting, and demoralizing to many; especially those of color.

We all live in a bubble of ignorance, but we can at least attempt to break out of it, reading books like this - reading books from other people's experiences, books from authors we would never have been given in high school, in a typical rural American high school, where you are given Gatsby, Steinbeck novels, where the only level of 'racism' we get given is To Kill a Mockingbird. Pick up books by Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, Pablo Neruda, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Hiroki Murakami, etc, etc, etc, etc. Read. Learn. Listen. Grow.

Talk to your friends of different ethnicity, learn how you are received, perceived, have actual honest discussions with them. SEE how they SEE you. Don't THINK inside your head how they SEE you. I guarantee its not the same. I guarantee you are not HOW you think you. Nobody is, even to their closest friends, to their spouses, children, etc, even to people of their own race, you are not SEEN and PERCEIVED the way you THINK you are. So learn, grow, talk to that one black co-worker you had two beers with three years ago. Ask him "How do I come off? How are things going? How can I be better?"

Read books like this, that show you how to take those steps. Read articles, watch TEDx Talks, learn from people of other groups, religions, creeds, colors, philosophies, countries, learn what their lives are like or were like. Learn what it was like to be a Jew in Germany in the 20s and 30s leading up to WWII. Don't just take it for granted. There is 9Billion some people on this earth, if you aren't reading, and are just watching the spoon-fed Hollywood bullcrap, you are getting about a ~
Learn, grow, experience, and then come to terms with who you are, how you are, why you are. Being white is not a crime. Nobody is saying that. Reparations aren't even required. But understand yourself. Understand your role in society. Understand your placement. Understand your role in racism. Understand how there is an inherent white privilege even when you don't see it, because of your set of circumstances. (Growing up poor white is still different than growing up poor black, or Latino, or Asian, or Gay, or Female, or Male, or brown, etc, etc, etc.)

Everyone was handed a different hand, and even a different deck of cards. Your hand might be great, or it might be horrible, but you might still have a great deck of cards to work with. Or, you might have been given a great hand but still be in a bad deck of cards, or you might have been given a shitty hand and an even shittier deck of cards.

The biggest thing is, we are all in this together. We are all people, and understanding how we can help ALL people, is the only way forward. ( )

3.5* Interesting read and I will be thinking about the content for some time. ( )

An interesting book about racism and the inherent advantages that white people have attained because we have oppressed black people. I like that Robin points out that all white people are racist and why and that racism has become more subversive since the 60's. I liked how Robin explained how she receives and asks for feedback, and that is starts by asking if the black person she has offended wants to explain what was done and why it was racist. ( )

Listened on audiobook. The voice was breathy and professor like which put me off from the start so likely impacted my review.

I felt the author was very generalized in statement including all white people in her feelings (ie. "We depict black people as dangerous "). I don't appreciate anyone letting me know how I feel or think, but especially when it is incorrect.

This book is meant for people living in cities with a significant black population. Stating we say neighborhoods are dangerous but what we mean is that they are black, or that we avoid schools with low test scores because they are black schools. Again, felt these statements were generalized to depict all while people feel this way but also statements like these don't apply to everyone. The author also side stepped any other factors such as crime rate or desire for the best education for one's child.

I wanted so much from this book but this was not for me. ( )

This is probably the most racist recent book I have ever had the opportunity to read. It appears to be be written by a someone steeped in a race-essentialist metaphysical world view tinted with white supremacy and written for the author's co-racists.

However the author is aware of this fact and specifies her book's target audience in chapter 1:
“I believe that white progressives cause the most daily damage to people of color. I define a white progressive as any white person who thinks he or she is not racist, or is less racist, or in the “choir,” or already “gets it.” White progressives can be the most difficult for people of color because, to the degree that we think we have arrived, we will put our energy into making sure that others see us as having arrived. None of our energy will go into what we need to be doing for the rest of our lives: engaging in ongoing self-awareness, continuing education, relationship building, and actual anti-racist practice. White progressives do indeed uphold and perpetrate racism, but our defensiveness and certitude make it virtually impossible to explain to us how we do so.”

The problem of course is that the entire argument in the book is presumes a racist white supremacist world-view where everyone is a reduced to a genetically determined avatar for a demographic dynasty and all subsequent discussions and solutions are trapped within the same. As is well noted the author applies a Kafka trap to anyone who rejects the racist world view she projects onto them by asserting the denial is proof.

If, like most modern Americans, you were not born in the south prior to 1960 you are likely not her target audience. This book is of little value and may in fact be a net negative. Read only to become familiar with the target audience above my be reading and only then if you have abundant spare time and nothing else at hand to read. ( )

White Fragility is a great start and continuation book for every white person's journey to be anti-racist. It made me recognize a lot of my own racist behaviors, and also give me advice on how to avoid those behaviors in the future. There was a point where I had to ask "so how do I fix it?" since most of the advice on where we go from here is in the final chapter. I highly recommend this to my fellow white people, especially if you are open to being informed of how you perpetuate racism, intentionally and not. ( )

Required reading for white people, especially if it makes you uncomfortable. ( )

Summary: White fragility is the unwillingness and incapacity of white people to recognize and address the advantage that whiteness offers. That fragility shows itself most powerfully when white people are confronted by the systemic racism that they benefit from. White people claim that they do not think in racial categories which enables them to maintain moral superiority while benefiting and preserving a system that favors them. In reality, racism created the social construct of race and is in itself the system which grants advantages to white men and oppresses those of other races. It is not just an individual practicing discrimination based on prejudice. It is the whole system. Since the advent of the Civil Rights Movement, racism has not lessened but increased by becoming subtle. White people therefore go through life never feeling any racial pressure in a world designed to cater to their own feelings. They work to maintain that situation. If challenged, they have a carefully rehearsed set of excuses to protect them from the charge of racism, but all of them are based on a false good/bad dichotomy that does not recognize what racism really is or how it can be addressed. Whiteness is actually constructed on anti-blackness. White people define themselves by projecting their own sins upon blackness and then rejecting it. White people find themselves overwhelmed when they are in a new setting that challenges any of their white assumptions. This is white fragility.

Pros: The chutzpah of a white woman stealing the narrative of black America and selling it for profit as her own is genuinely impressive. I admire the boldness and lack of shame.

Cons: The author generalizes all people based on her own experience. She states that she assumes systemic racism exists and therefore does not seek to justify that belief. There are many historical errors. There is a frequent confusion of equality of dignity and equality of capability and equality of opportunity for individuals (not groups), especially as it relates to current conditions. Terms get redefined to suit an end. There are lots of red herring fallacies as well as bait-and-switch fallacies. She is pretty explicit that truth is secondary to power when it comes to considering claims. The author plays word games to both assert things and to avoid any accusation that comes from the assertion. Most of her assertions are non-falsifiable. Those who accept her premise are racist. Those who reject are racist.

Evaluation: This is a racist book written by a racist woman looking to further racism. ( )

Groundbreaking book exploring the counterproductive reactions white people have when discussing racism that serve to protect their positions and maintain racial inequalityIn this groundbreaking and timely book, antiracist educator Robin DiAngelo deftly illuminates the phenomenon of white fragility. Referring to the defensive moves that white people make when challenged racially, white fragility is characterized by emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and by behaviors including argumentation and silence. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate white racial equilibrium and prevent any meaningful cross-racial dialogue. In this in-depth exploration, DiAngelo explores how white fragility develops, how it protects racial inequality, and what we can do to engage more constructively.

Many great ideas/observations:
1) Racism isn't binary -- each of our actions may have racial
2) Ideas/statements like "I'm not racist" or "I don't see color" effectively prevent racism from being discussed and thereby prevent improvement
3) Equating a white person's experience -- perhaps being taunted, or being afraid in a situation -- with a black person's experience ignores the fact that at the end of the day the white person returns to a society/culture where whiteness is the norm or ideal
4) Often white people react badly when they discover the actions have racial consequences which then co-opts the concern and attention of group away from the actual victim.
( )

There are better books about anti-racism. Nova Reid's "The Good Ally" is excellent. I look forward to reading some of the books recommended by Lois: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/1105306-lois, which can be found in her review of "White Fragility". ( )

Important

This was not an easy book for a white person to read, but it is an important one. Should be required reading for all adults. ( )

Whitey starts to get nervous when you write books like this Robin! 😜

Although the reason I support the “identity politics” of suppressed groups, as such (although not the harmful relativism of Confederate identity politics: if nik—if blacks are humans, why aren’t white men gods? We could be gods of drinking and fishing!), is that I think that “identity politics” is something more than politics; it’s at least more sociological practice than politicking in the C-SPAN sense of the word, you know. (Will the Congressman from Pennsylvania please tie his shoelaces please!) And really I think it’s something more, really. (You were born so you could have interesting thoughts, children! No need, no cause for anything else! Now! Let’s go eat some corn-fed beef!) I’m not sure she gets this, though…. Although the thing about ‘politics’, to use the term broadly, is that people who are at least half right tend to be somewhat more tolerant, even if they have much more to complain about for their party, while the nervous people without a moral leg to stand are loudly and rambunctiously proclaim, But thank God for white people, right! It’s either us or the commie heirs of Judas! And if that ain’t straight-shooting, I ain’t a fly-fisher…. Although some people who carefully buy houses where there are no Black people are probably very northern and even bureaucratic and kinda, I don’t know…. I mean, you could almost just read the reviews of half the educated crackers who claim to have read the book, which theoretically excludes all the people who saw it and either spit at it or thought, But isn’t it only about Mom and Dad? So really the book could be called, It’s All About Me: The Sequel (Be White series). Right? I don’t know. But that’s kinda how it is.

I like the line about whiteness being the “changing same”. Although I don’t think that all forms of whiteness to be equally pernicious or that no form of Anglo education has any merit—obviously that’s not true—but there is this Huge, Pernicious aspect of white supremacy where we look at the white person we don’t like, change something superficial to benefit ourselves, and call that the sci-fi future, while continuing to exclude the, er, the blackpeople, and to loudly proclaim that we are not white and therefore ‘black-people’ have nothing to complain about, can they stop forgetting that we’re proper and not bad like them?, you know, because after all, It’s All About Me—it’s all about ‘all of us’, except for, you know.

…. Of course, the general thrust of these ideas seems simple and familiar enough to me, but perhaps that only makes it more strange. (Because the person who’s REALLY wrong thinks they REALLY understand, like in religion.) But do I blame people, and make them think that I must not understand, because —they can’t be racists, because there’s something good about them, because I don’t get because I blame them? Or do I make excuses for people, —You’re a good person because you think you’re good, so you can’t be a racist (or at least, it’s not important), because of how good you are?…. As much as there is more to practice than knowledge, this is certainly a subject worthy of study, just as much as one that affects “everyone” (ie white people, lol).

…. “Today we have a cultural norm that insists we hide our racism from people of color and deny it among ourselves, but not that we actually challenge it. In fact, we are socially penalized for challenging racism.”

…. Nobody cares what I write here so I write what I think is true, but if I told my father, or even my mother, much of what I think, it would be like…. I wouldn’t be welcome anymore, and especially with dad. Mom would just blame my opinions on somebody else. My step-mom would get rabid-dog on me, though. “When CEO Jesus comes back, he’s gonna wonder why we let the damn black people alone and didn’t pay back your son for being on Their Side.” “Woman, listen to me: we gotta be polite, or white men don’t look good. Do you want white men to look good, or not? You know you never listen to me! Now! Let’s try to say that in a more polite way. When CEO Jesus comes back, he’s gonna wonder why we didn’t pay back the criminals who happened to come from foreign black parts.” “I just think we should be calling them (censored)’s!” “(throws down newspaper) That’s not right; I’m enlightened! I’m on everybody’s side! I’m white; I’m a man; I’m whole! I’m everybody! White men, do things right, before Judgment comes on all of us!”

But in ‘real life’, I don’t break ranks with white people. People don’t expect me to have agency, you know.

And the other thing that I’m starting to realize is that there are white people, and especially white men, who benefit from the country expecting the elite to be white people, and especially men, and who get to where they are largely because the country expects white men to supply the successful people, and who capitalize on the incredible pit of greed we’re digging ourselves into, and not on the almost mythical sensitive intelligent enlightened harming-none white genius, you know. Of course, there is the odd person who does something worthwhile with their opportunities and privileges, but many of the white elite are just as idiotic and greedy I think as the people who fork their money over to them—you just don’t have to share Thanksgiving dinner with CEO Charles Bigote, the way you have to look at your lucky-but-not-successful father, who thinks that he’s the king of the world because he’s a white man who knows how to raise his voice. The elite is often just a white man who knows how to lie, you know. He usually doesn’t brag so much about being a moral basket case, but most of the differences are much more superficial than they appear.

…. It’s easy to assume, you know. It’s easy to declare ourselves based on either little or no experience, or even a certain amount of knowledge, to know what we need to know or to be beyond a certain source. (And I’ve never liked the whole specialist’s dismissal, you know. “Oh, I’ve already studied Greece. John and Cindy taught me zero.”) But although it’s easy for both the conservative and the liberal to be dismissive, either because they’re “good” and there’s nothing to learn, or, they “know” and they’re better than this, well…. Two people went up to the temple to pray, and one of them only went back justified, and it wasn’t the one you’d expect. Robin is leery of calling the whole thing a “moral” issue, because of how we abuse the concept, but I do think we need morality, it’s just that it’s harmful to assume that we understand morality already. Sometimes our abuse of the concept of morality is an outstanding moral issue, you know.

…. —“Break with the apathy of whiteness”
—Admit that I can make mistakes.

Of course, I do have problems with the idea of Fighting racism, being Anti-racist, not that she talks about fighting exactly, but she has stuff about breaking white solidarity, and I do feel a certain amount of obligation to my racist white family and my racist white society, even if I also feel honor-bound to criticize or stand apart from them as well. But I’m sure I could be found to not really be ‘breaking ranks’, you know. For me it has a lot to do with my past, and my patterns, where I easily isolate from others and have great difficulty making any sort of connection, even with similar people in privileged encounters, if you will, and also in the past I was a chauvie red; I kinda played the fool by trying to act like I was everyone’s friend and also always by playing everyone false—so now I feel like I have an obligation towards everyone, since I served everyone so ill before, so certainly Blacks and even women, but also old white men who are good at chess and feel strangely paranoid, you know.

But at least I can freely and I think honestly say that I understand at least Some of my own weaknesses, my own foibles, weaknesses and fallibilities, and some of the consequences and problems attendant on my attitudes. And certainly my life and my choices are just my life and choices, not the choices of some perfect or un-embodied Objective Being, you know, just because I’m white, and also a drake. (A gander.) So someone else, with another set of circumstances, with really no reason to agree with me, might not agree with me, and is I suppose at least partially right, you know. I mean, I don’t know.

🤷

Livro muito bom para começar a entender um pouco dos problemas do racismo, aqui referido de forma ampla.

De fato, o título original (Fragilidade branca: porque é tão difícil para pessoas brancas falarem sobre racismo?) é muito mais coerente com a proposta da autora que é falar sobre o tema, da perspectiva de uma pessoa de pele branca que fala para outras, como deixa claro no início.

Concordando-se ou não com o conteúdo ou parte dele, há muito no livro para aprender e refletir sobre o tema. ( )

I recommend this book because it offers a new understanding of the society we live in, race, racism and how the problem white people have with talking about racism actually perpetuates and helps keep racism alive. Especially recommended for whites who believe they are not racist. Or non-whites seeking to understand white thinking on racism. A bit repetitive and not "fun" to read due to some poor writing/organization but still very worth reading. I hope the ideas presented here are further studied and reported on. ( )